Friday, January 30, 2009

Keeping It All in Focus

I had a little bit of a panic attack last night. This is because I suddenly realized that this week is the end of January. May 16 keeps getting closer and closer, and my list of things to do doesn’t seem to be getting any smaller.

Daniel’s winter break from classes is now over, and he now has another semester’s full schedule of classes to add to his work schedule. For our last three and a half months before the wedding, his time will be almost completely taken up. This means that I have to be extra organized in order to make sure that I plan for the things I need his help with during his sparse blocks of free time. The problem is that I have never been very good at being extra organized. My list is helping so far—color-coded by month that each item must/should be done. It had better keep helping, because if I can’t stick to it… well, that’s a big problem. Here is what is on the list for January (which, as I mentioned, is fast coming to a close):

× Register for gifts
Book honeymoon
Finalize guest list
Give out save the dates
Figure out bridesmaid dresses
× Get marriage license
Figure out DJ
Meet with photographer
Figure out cake
× Finish marriage prep
× Schedule NFP classes
× Confirm reception
× Buy veil
× Buy shoes
× Get baptismal certificates
× Get passports
× Get jewelry

As you can see, it’s looking like a few things are going to be pushed to February. This weekend, Daniel and I are going to finalize the guest list and meet with the photographer. Our plans to meet with a DJ we were considering fell through a couple of weeks ago, so it’s back to square one as far as that goes. I’m thinking of maybe setting up a playlist ourselves and not having a DJ but I’m not really sure… does anyone have any advice on this?

In Family Foundations, the Couple to Couple League’s magazine, Christina Capecchi has been writing a journal-type column on her engagement and preparation for marriage. In this month’s issue, she writes about the stresses of the last few weeks before her wedding and how she and her fiancĂ© have found strength in turning to the tradition and wisdom of the Church amidst all the chaos of final plans. Reading her thoughts as she deals with the stresses that I will be facing in just a few short months was really helpful for me.

Marriage prep with our sponsor couple was also helpful. Although this was nothing I hadn’t heard before, it was a nice reminder to be told that Daniel and I are preparing for our vocation, just like men in seminary are preparing for theirs. And as our vocation, our marriage is the primary reason that we were put on this earth and should therefore be the primary focus of our lives. Everything else is secondary. Marriage is the state of life to which God is calling us, and through it we will serve God for the rest of our lives. Not only that, but Daniel and are going to be responsible for getting each other to Heaven! With all of this to think about, all the small details of the wedding day seem less important—and it gets a little bit easier to breathe.


Elizabeth said...

Being that I have now subscribed to multiple wedding blogs because I'm maid of honor for a my bff/one of my room mates from college and have been on the knot since i was in a wedding a few years ago I can tell you what I have learned and what I will be telling the bride once it comes up:
1)DJs are a good idea if you want music you don't have playing... like really new stuff (and they don't always have that anyway) and lots of different types of dancing.
2) if you don't want to do the DJ thing... which is reasonable... assign a friend/family member who isn't in the wedding party and knows your music tastes, make sure they have a list of things that must and must not be played (that goes for a DJ too) and let them bring a computer/iPod but get good speakers...if you're only doing the first/parent dances than that works well... otherwise set up a play list.
Hope all is well, miss you and Caroline (and the rest of them down there) so much, we have to get together soon!

Kat said...

As someone who has recently entered into the sacrament of Holy Matrimony, I feel your stress. The amazing thing is that no matter what does or does not get done; you are entering into a sacrament. Praise God that you are staying grounded in this time because its easy to get swayed.Yahwe-Shalom.

JoAnne said...

I find your blog very refreshing. Your statements about marriage vocation and the goal of each of you to see that the other is heaven bound is so true. Always remember that, no matter what. I agree with Elizabeth about the DJ being a family member/friend. But do have a DJ so music requests can be made by others. So a good variety of music is a must too. Good luck and I will keep following your blog.

Kate said...

I read this post in FF, but just stumbled upon it again online. I just wanted to share.

My husband and I play music for weddings, 99.9% of them Catholic, and one of the things we tell everyone who comes in stressed to meet with us is this: It doesn't really matter, at the end of the day, what went right or wrong--no matter what happens, at the end of the day you'll be married, and that's what's important.

Kate (CCL TC1400)

Catholic Mommy Brain said...

Love your blog! It's a time of crazy planning, but all your worries about the details will disappear when you say those vows. Enjoy the day! :)

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog today and I have really enjoyed reading it this evening, I am taking a break from putting together the invite list for my own wedding in August. I have found your posts to be very thought provoking and love to hear that somebody else is truly trying to keep the sacrament of marriage at the center in and amongst the crazy details and the never ending list. I will keep you in my prayers and I would ask that you do the same as God continues to prepare us for the beautiful commitment of matrimony.