Friday, June 5, 2009

Wedding Weekend: Part 2

Just to let you know since some of you are wondering, there is going to be a wedding photo album posted on here very soon—I think by this time next week. Daniel and I are anxiously awaiting the photographer’s pictures ourselves! As for today, I hope none of you are bored by the fact that this entry is mainly going to be a list of events, but I’m picking up where I left off.

Caroline, Nicole, Marie, Daniel, his brother, and I got to the reception hall around 2:30 to start decorating. Another bridesmaid, Michelle, met us up there, as did my Mom and my Aunt Alli. We spent a little over two hours moving tables, assembling centerpieces, and arranging the personalized favors on a table by the door (which would also serve as a way of directing guests to their assigned seats). When we were finished, the room looked perfectly beautiful.

By that time we were in somewhat of a rush to get to the chapel, where the rehearsal was scheduled to begin at five. When we arrived on campus, we discovered that the big field right next to the chapel was all set up with party tents, grills, and loudspeakers. Apparently the local fire department was having their big “spring fling” picnic right there all day on Saturday, and no one in campus ministry was told about it until a few days before—therefore, we also were not told. Naturally, I was a little bit… shall we say, worried? That sounds like a nice way of putting it. I will leave it up to your own vivid imaginations to envision how I was feeling in my night-before-my-wedding stressed state. But I tried to put that worry away; there was nothing that could be done about the situation, and I had enough to be thinking about.

The rehearsal went well, as straightforward as rehearsals go. We had one run-through. I carried the ribbon bouquet made by my bridesmaids at my shower. Next came the rehearsal dinner, which was casual. We reserved the party room at the local Pizza Hut and ate their new pasta dishes, which were pretty good although I didn’t have much of an appetite. As the meal came to an end, I was really getting close to tears. In a few minutes, Daniel and I would be parting ways and I wouldn’t see him again until I was walking down the aisle. And that was extremely scary.

I hugged my family as I was leaving (except for Marie, since she was my maid of honor and would of course be staying with me for the rest of the night). I kissed Daniel good-bye. My bridesmaids and groomsmaid ushered me out the door and across the parking lot to the store, where we picked up two bottles of wine to drink at the hotel. Everything felt so strange, as though I was someone else. The ball was already rolling, but in those minutes after I watched Daniel drive away, I wanted so much to stop it.

When one of my bridesmaids asked how I was, all I knew to say was, “I’m just not feeling very favorable towards weddings right now.” Which was true. I knew that I wanted to be married to Daniel more than anything in the world. And I wanted the Sacrament. I just didn’t feel like I wanted the wedding. It was just too out-of-the-ordinary, too disconnected from my everyday life. I wasn’t just Sarah, the girl I had been my whole life. At least that’s how I felt. I was “the bride.” The disconnect was too large for comfort. The different-ness from my normal day-to-day world was somewhat, for lack of a better word, painful. I don’t really know how to explain how I was feeling.

But my friends took care of me. Almost as soon as we got to the hotel I felt more relaxed. I received a couple of gifts, gave the girls their jewelry for the next day, had a glass of wine, and talked for a few hours. Brushed and flossed my teeth, washed my face, laid out everything I needed for the next morning, set my alarm for 6:10 (our hair appointments were for 7:30) I shared a bed with Marie, the sister with whom I shared a bedroom for eight years of my life, and my cousin Maria and friend Laura slept in the other bed in the room. This was my last night as a single girl/woman. It took me a little while to drift off, but once I did, I got more sleep, and better sleep, than I had any night for weeks before that.

I warned you I might do this again—to be continued! Tune in for part three.


Becca said...

I'm looking forward to seeing your photo album! Thank you so much for blogging about your wedding and marriage preparations and experiences! Your blog has been really helpful to me since I'm in the process of planning and preparing for my Catholic marriage and wedding, which will be next May! My fiancé and I are the same age as you and Daniel, so it's easy for me to relate to your story. Looking forward to your next post! God bless!

Christina said...

I am loving these installments, Sarah!

I know just what you meant about the "disconnect" of wanting to feel like your normal self and not quite fitting into the bigness of "bride." It's great that you're addressing that.

Can't wait for another installment and the photo album!! :)