Friday, February 19, 2010


I have been thinking a lot this week about how happy I am. Seriously. I am very, very happy. I have to admit that sometimes when I think about it too much I worry that I’m too happy, that I have it too good, that I haven’t struggled quite enough. I don’t know quite what to do about that worry except attempt to dismiss it with a prayer (any suggestions on that?). But what I do know is that although I can’t say that my life is 100% perfect, and there are times when I wish for more than the abundant blessings I have been given, I am always happy—even when I am momentarily sad or frustrated or angry on the surface.

The truth is that I have everything that I ever wanted for this point in my life. I remember thinking in high school that about a year or so after college would be a good time to get married, possibly to someone I would meet and date in college; I met Daniel almost as soon as I arrived on campus, and we got married one year and five days after graduating. We both already had jobs lined up for after graduation, and that very summer we purchased a house on a beautiful piece of land less than ten minutes from my parents’ house; I had always wanted to live close to my family.

I always wanted to start a family soon after getting married, and we hoped that I would get pregnant in the fall of 2009; I got pregnant in September. If you have been following my blog for a while, you know by now that I am a worry wart. So, early on when the risk of miscarriage was still very substantial, I was so afraid that because it had happened so easily, something was going to go wrong. But I am now twenty-four weeks along, and so far so good, thank God! Our plan to have me stay home to take care of our baby seems also to be working out, even if our budget will be a little tight; I always wanted to stay home with my children like my mom did and does with hers.

As you can see, everything is exactly as I would want it to be. Not everyone wants to be settled down with a home (and mortgage), husband, and family of their own at my age. But I always did. And although everything is not always picture perfect, I am always happy. The other day while I sat by myself at home just feeling my little one’s enthusiastic kicks, I sang my baby the blessing that my mom always used to sing to me and imagined blessing his forehead once he is born. And I was so overwhelmed with joy that it brought tears to my eyes. I have been so very blessed.


Anonymous said...

Sarah, you are very blessed and I am so happy for you. Love reading your blog updates. You are not the only blissfully happy newlywed, I am one too! I am expecting a baby also- in April (we married last July), so you and I are in the same boat- and I know what you mean about being happy. Sometimes I have also wondered if I shouldn't be so happy but I decided to just go with it!

TRS said...

You are blessed. Be sure to appreciate it.

I am an example of plans going the other way. Turning 40 this year, never married, no kids and just broke up with my boyfriend last month.
Makes a person wonder why some people get everything they ever wish for - and some of us just struggle, struggle, struggle.

Just don't ever take what you have for granted. It could just as easily disappear.

Anonymous said...

I know that I, too, feel extremely blessed with the course of action my life has taken. I will be married this June, we just bought a house (which I will move into after the wedding), I have a great job in my dream place, etc. Sometimes I worry that it's too good - pretty soon something bad is going to happen. I wonder why I get to live this blessed and amazing life when so many struggle. I think we cannot have the answer to that since we are not God, but we can try to do our best to be grateful and generous with our blessings. I know I am not always good about the generosity part, but I do end every day by thanking God for at least 5 things from that day for which I am grateful - and I can never just stop at 5.

Anonymous said...

I am happy for you Sarah. Just reading this blog made me realize how happy I truly am as well and how much I have been blessed in my life. Thank you! You deserve all your blessings. You are a great example to all of your readers!

The Catholic Wife said...

I feel the same way, Sarah! I think a huge part of it is being happy with what you have, right now, and not more. "To everything, there is a season" - it's comforting to know that when the suffering does come, it will not be without a purpose for our souls. There is joy to be found in offering God all of us - the good and the sorrowful... and when we approach life that way, there's bound to be joy always. Hugs.

Mary said...

It's so nice to see a young couple so happy and have their life so well organized and thought out! I used to worry (I'm a worry wart, too!) about the bottom dropping out when things were so great. Your faith will carry you through the tough times. I look forward to revisiting your blog!

ella said...

So are people who don't get what they want not blessed? Are those without children cursed? My husband told me this is his fear this weekend, that the reason we can't have children now is because he is, we are, cursed by God. We are a newly married couple that could probably be sitting in the pew next to you every week. I am currently re-evaluating what it means to be "blessed".

I'd be curious to hear your thoughts.