The response cards are coming in, filling my parents’ mailbox, and I have been diligently marking people off on my invitation address spreadsheet as they come. And there are only five weeks left!
Our friends’ wedding last weekend really made me all the more excited for mine. The whole evening was lovely, and the bride and groom were absolutely glowing. I wouldn’t be surprised if the muscles in their cheeks stayed stuck in those smiles for quite some time. That’s going to be Daniel and me in just a little over a month! I’m sure you’re probably tired of hearing me marvel at how fast time is going, but you’ll just have to put up with it—because I really can’t believe it!
We finished deciding on our readings and other Mass parts last weekend, which means that as soon as we can finally decide on our favorites for music (we currently like too many songs), we can start putting together a program. All of my bridesmaids’ dresses—plus the one female groomsman’s dress—have come in now and I’m pretty sure all of Daniel’s groomsmen have been fitted for their tuxes. My sisters Rose and Jane, my bridesmaidens, got their dresses the other day. So did my sister Annie, flower girl. The ring bearer, my brother Paul, will be having his First Holy Communion in June. So my mom bought him a suit that can pull double-duty. Very convenient.
Incidentally, my sixteen-year-old sister Rose’s dress will be pulling double-duty also, if all goes well. We couldn’t find yellow dresses that we liked for Rose and Jane, but my mom found very cute white eyelet dresses for them. Rose will wear hers white for her Confirmation (the weekend after Easter), then my mom will buy yellow fabric dye and try to dye her dress. If it looks good, she will dye Jane’s dress too. And if it doesn’t, at least Rose will already have gotten to wear it once! Then we’ll just have to figure something else out for their dresses… I hope it works.
I’m so glad that Daniel and I will be getting married in the Easter season; it seems so appropriately joyful. May the joy of the risen Christ be in all of your hearts.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
Another Lesson Learned
The invitations are out! Daniel and I joked as we drove away from the post office that we really have to get married now. Everyone’s going to show up—it’s official. I spent all of my free time last week printing, punching out, and assembling invitations, response cards, and reception cards, as well as searching for addresses I had not yet found and addressing all of the envelopes in pseudo-calligraphy (cursive with a calligraphy pen).
Laura came over on Thursday night to help me put together the invitations themselves after I printed them, and on Friday night Laura, Daniel, and I all worked together. They look lovely. Just our style. We bought stamps on Saturday, put everything together, and sealed the envelopes. Finally, on Saturday night, Daniel and I drove to the post office and dropped them into the mail box one by one to get one final count so as to be extra extra sure that we didn’t leave any behind. And when we drove away, we thought we were done.
So here’s a lesson learned from which I hope someone reading this will benefit, since I’ll never have to do this again: always go to the post office when it is open and have your invitations weighed. My mom called me at work on Monday to tell me that a lady at the post office called her (since my parents’ house was the return address). Apparently my envelopes were .10 of an ounce over the one ounce weight limit, and of course we had only purchased 42 cent wedding stamps.
Rather than mark all of our envelopes, which were very clearly wedding invitations, with “Return to sender,” this very nice woman called my mom instead. So my mom went into the post office to purchase gorgeous 17 cent stamps (they were a picture of a ram-yikes) to add to the postage. If we had just gone in to have them weighed before dropping them in the box, the pretty wedding stamps we bought came in 69 cents, too! Regardless, the invitations are out and we don’t have to worry about them anymore. Depending on how quick people are to respond, we could start getting response cards any day now!
This weekend Daniel and I are going to the wedding of some friends of ours from college, which we are very excited about. It’s the first wedding we’ll have ever attended together, and incidentally it’s taking place in the same chapel we’ll find ourselves in almost exactly six weeks from now… six weeks!
Laura came over on Thursday night to help me put together the invitations themselves after I printed them, and on Friday night Laura, Daniel, and I all worked together. They look lovely. Just our style. We bought stamps on Saturday, put everything together, and sealed the envelopes. Finally, on Saturday night, Daniel and I drove to the post office and dropped them into the mail box one by one to get one final count so as to be extra extra sure that we didn’t leave any behind. And when we drove away, we thought we were done.
So here’s a lesson learned from which I hope someone reading this will benefit, since I’ll never have to do this again: always go to the post office when it is open and have your invitations weighed. My mom called me at work on Monday to tell me that a lady at the post office called her (since my parents’ house was the return address). Apparently my envelopes were .10 of an ounce over the one ounce weight limit, and of course we had only purchased 42 cent wedding stamps.
Rather than mark all of our envelopes, which were very clearly wedding invitations, with “Return to sender,” this very nice woman called my mom instead. So my mom went into the post office to purchase gorgeous 17 cent stamps (they were a picture of a ram-yikes) to add to the postage. If we had just gone in to have them weighed before dropping them in the box, the pretty wedding stamps we bought came in 69 cents, too! Regardless, the invitations are out and we don’t have to worry about them anymore. Depending on how quick people are to respond, we could start getting response cards any day now!
This weekend Daniel and I are going to the wedding of some friends of ours from college, which we are very excited about. It’s the first wedding we’ll have ever attended together, and incidentally it’s taking place in the same chapel we’ll find ourselves in almost exactly six weeks from now… six weeks!
Friday, March 27, 2009
The Shower
I had been reassured countless times by my family and friends that “you’ll be fine,” and “you’re going to have so much fun.” Nonetheless, I arrived at my bridal shower last Saturday feeling extremely tense, having allowed my nervousness to slowly build in the week leading up to the day itself.
Marie, my maid of honor, and my bridesmaids had planned an afternoon tea party for me, to be held at my aunt and uncle’s house not far from where I live. Between thirty and thirty-five of my family and friends were there (female only, of course), as well as Daniel’s mom, one of his sisters, and his niece. It was a good-sized group, and a good-sized pile of presents waited for me in the great room.
When I arrived about ten minutes late, since I assumed people would be scrambling to finish things up at the last minute, guests were standing around in groups in the kitchen and great room, and Marie and my friend Laura (another bridesmaid) were in the living room assembling something that I was not supposed to see. No one told me what door to come in, though, and I walked in the front door from where Marie and Laura and what they were making were perfectly visible—had they not yelled at me to go away the moment I said hello. I quickly turned away and yelled back that I was sorry as I walked through the foyer and into the kitchen.
My grandma on my mom’s side was immediately there to greet me with a hug, but everyone else remained in the conversations they had already been having. I said, “Hi, everyone,” to anyone who could hear me, then stood uncomfortably for a moment before deciding that I should be greeting everyone individually. So I proceeded to go around hugging every woman and girl in the house, just because it gave me something to do. I had to be doing something. They were all there for me, after all. It was horribly awkward; at least it seemed so to me.
Once all had been hugged, I perched myself on the couch in the great room near where a group of my college girlfriends were chatting. Thank goodness, Laura came out of the living room where she had been secretively working and sat next to me. After what I’m sure was less than one minute, someone asked me if I was ready to eat, and I wholeheartedly replied that I was. I fixed myself a cup of tea in one of the pretty teacups that Marie was borrowing from my grandma (it was a tea party after all), and Maria (my roommate from freshman year of college, whom I’ve mentioned before) offered to fill a plate for me. The food looked delicious, and in this case, looks were not deceiving! My wonderful bridesmaids did a wonderful job. I only wish I hadn’t been so nervous—maybe then I could have eaten more than half of what was on my plate. Still, the fare did a fairly good job of relaxing me. I no longer felt as tense as I had upon first arriving.
When a little while later attention was turned to the mountain of gifts, I was sent to the great room and told to sit in a chair in front of everyone else. Many people even sat on the floor, accentuating my “guest of honor”-ness. I felt like a reluctant queen.
The discomfort I felt at having a roomful of people watch me open my gifts one by one was not enough to stifle the inevitable enjoyment and excitement of receiving a whole bunch of new things for Daniel’s and my life together beginning in May. It’s impossible to avoid the thoughts of, “this clock will sit on the mantle next to our wedding picture,” or “this is the griddle that I’ll use to make pancakes for my kids on Saturday mornings.” Who knows, really, if this griddle will still be working by then… but like I said, the thought is inescapable. Finally, regarding certain other traditional bridal shower gifts, I am told that I did not blush at all!
All in all, (surprise surprise) I did have a fun time last Saturday. And all of my friends assured me that they would feel the same nerves and awkwardness when their own bridal showers come along. I’m just glad to hear that for the most part, I did not appear awkward. See, there was nothing to worry about after all!
Marie, my maid of honor, and my bridesmaids had planned an afternoon tea party for me, to be held at my aunt and uncle’s house not far from where I live. Between thirty and thirty-five of my family and friends were there (female only, of course), as well as Daniel’s mom, one of his sisters, and his niece. It was a good-sized group, and a good-sized pile of presents waited for me in the great room.
When I arrived about ten minutes late, since I assumed people would be scrambling to finish things up at the last minute, guests were standing around in groups in the kitchen and great room, and Marie and my friend Laura (another bridesmaid) were in the living room assembling something that I was not supposed to see. No one told me what door to come in, though, and I walked in the front door from where Marie and Laura and what they were making were perfectly visible—had they not yelled at me to go away the moment I said hello. I quickly turned away and yelled back that I was sorry as I walked through the foyer and into the kitchen.
My grandma on my mom’s side was immediately there to greet me with a hug, but everyone else remained in the conversations they had already been having. I said, “Hi, everyone,” to anyone who could hear me, then stood uncomfortably for a moment before deciding that I should be greeting everyone individually. So I proceeded to go around hugging every woman and girl in the house, just because it gave me something to do. I had to be doing something. They were all there for me, after all. It was horribly awkward; at least it seemed so to me.
Once all had been hugged, I perched myself on the couch in the great room near where a group of my college girlfriends were chatting. Thank goodness, Laura came out of the living room where she had been secretively working and sat next to me. After what I’m sure was less than one minute, someone asked me if I was ready to eat, and I wholeheartedly replied that I was. I fixed myself a cup of tea in one of the pretty teacups that Marie was borrowing from my grandma (it was a tea party after all), and Maria (my roommate from freshman year of college, whom I’ve mentioned before) offered to fill a plate for me. The food looked delicious, and in this case, looks were not deceiving! My wonderful bridesmaids did a wonderful job. I only wish I hadn’t been so nervous—maybe then I could have eaten more than half of what was on my plate. Still, the fare did a fairly good job of relaxing me. I no longer felt as tense as I had upon first arriving.
When a little while later attention was turned to the mountain of gifts, I was sent to the great room and told to sit in a chair in front of everyone else. Many people even sat on the floor, accentuating my “guest of honor”-ness. I felt like a reluctant queen.
The discomfort I felt at having a roomful of people watch me open my gifts one by one was not enough to stifle the inevitable enjoyment and excitement of receiving a whole bunch of new things for Daniel’s and my life together beginning in May. It’s impossible to avoid the thoughts of, “this clock will sit on the mantle next to our wedding picture,” or “this is the griddle that I’ll use to make pancakes for my kids on Saturday mornings.” Who knows, really, if this griddle will still be working by then… but like I said, the thought is inescapable. Finally, regarding certain other traditional bridal shower gifts, I am told that I did not blush at all!
All in all, (surprise surprise) I did have a fun time last Saturday. And all of my friends assured me that they would feel the same nerves and awkwardness when their own bridal showers come along. I’m just glad to hear that for the most part, I did not appear awkward. See, there was nothing to worry about after all!
Friday, March 20, 2009
58 Days Left
“Time is making fools of us again.” To those who are Harry Potter fans like myself, you may know that I quote that incredibly wise old wizard, Albus Dumbledore. I tend to be quite impressed with the words that J.K. Rowling puts in this particular character’s mouth. In any event, I find this quote coming to mind quite often lately.
Time does, indeed, seem to be making a fool of me. It’s this crazy blend of the time-slowing phenomenon of waiting for something very exciting to happen and the time-accelerating one of having very much to do in a rather short amount of time. Each hour of each day seems to drag on endlessly, but by the time it is Thursday and I realize another whole week between now and the wedding has disappeared, I feel like time is flying.
We ordered the cake last weekend when we went for our cake tasting. Every flavor was delicious! We ended up choosing basic yellow cake with butter cream frosting and filling, though—anything fancy, like white chocolate mousse filling (which was amazing) or spice cake with cinnamon frosting really raised the price. The design is three tiers, white frosting with tiny yellow Swiss dots, and yellow ribbon tied around the top of each tier. We’re going to use yellow roses to decorate the cake, too, rather than use a cake topper.
We also ended up picking out invitations from the craft store, put them on hold, and went back to buy them (with coupons) on Monday night. They are beautiful, too. We were originally going to have Marie design and make them herself, but we liked these so much and figured we could save her a lot of time and trouble if we did it this way. They come in kits, and we’ll just have to have them printed and put together.
This week Daniel has been on spring break, so we have been able to spend time together every night after work—which means that we have been able to get some wedding stuff done that we otherwise wouldn’t be able to do together during the week. So far this has included address-compiling, liturgy-planning, and the already mentioned invitation-purchasing. Tonight we are going to Staples to see if we can have them print the invitations for us.
And finally… my bridal shower is this Saturday! I am really excited, but also somewhat nervous. I’m not sure how I feel about being the center of attention in a large group of people. I suppose this is something I’ll have to get used to, since May 16 will bring an even larger crowd! Speaking of May 16: less than two months! I can’t believe it. “Time is making fools of us again.”
Time does, indeed, seem to be making a fool of me. It’s this crazy blend of the time-slowing phenomenon of waiting for something very exciting to happen and the time-accelerating one of having very much to do in a rather short amount of time. Each hour of each day seems to drag on endlessly, but by the time it is Thursday and I realize another whole week between now and the wedding has disappeared, I feel like time is flying.
We ordered the cake last weekend when we went for our cake tasting. Every flavor was delicious! We ended up choosing basic yellow cake with butter cream frosting and filling, though—anything fancy, like white chocolate mousse filling (which was amazing) or spice cake with cinnamon frosting really raised the price. The design is three tiers, white frosting with tiny yellow Swiss dots, and yellow ribbon tied around the top of each tier. We’re going to use yellow roses to decorate the cake, too, rather than use a cake topper.
We also ended up picking out invitations from the craft store, put them on hold, and went back to buy them (with coupons) on Monday night. They are beautiful, too. We were originally going to have Marie design and make them herself, but we liked these so much and figured we could save her a lot of time and trouble if we did it this way. They come in kits, and we’ll just have to have them printed and put together.
This week Daniel has been on spring break, so we have been able to spend time together every night after work—which means that we have been able to get some wedding stuff done that we otherwise wouldn’t be able to do together during the week. So far this has included address-compiling, liturgy-planning, and the already mentioned invitation-purchasing. Tonight we are going to Staples to see if we can have them print the invitations for us.
And finally… my bridal shower is this Saturday! I am really excited, but also somewhat nervous. I’m not sure how I feel about being the center of attention in a large group of people. I suppose this is something I’ll have to get used to, since May 16 will bring an even larger crowd! Speaking of May 16: less than two months! I can’t believe it. “Time is making fools of us again.”
Friday, March 13, 2009
Moving Right Along
This Saturday is going to be all wedding planning all day. Daniel and I will be driving up to look at the chapel and reception site with my mom and my sisters Rose and Jane. This is so that we can start thinking more about what we need in the way of decorations for both places.
While we are up that direction, we are also going to go shopping at the outlets to look for “bridesmaiden” dresses for Rose and Jane (ages sixteen and fourteen). “Bridesmaiden” is the name I invented to use instead of “junior bridesmaid” since these teenage sisters of mine found the usual title offensive. Rose, especially, did not want to be a “junior” anything. Finally, we will also have a cake tasting appointment scheduled for Saturday morning—in fact, we will be doing that first, as nine o’clock was the only time slot the bakery had available that day.
Once we make it back home, my sister and maid of honor Marie and I (and maybe Daniel, if he can come) will go to the craft store to look for invitation kits. Marie is a graphic design major and an amazing artist, and she is helping me to design our invitations; we’ll just need blank invitations so that she can use them to work her magic.
I suppose we could just buy our own paper and cut it down to size the way we want it, but then we would also have to worry about response cards and envelopes as well as reception cards and the outer envelope. Wedding invitations are complicated like that. I’m not sure what we’ll end up doing. All I know is that my goal is to get the invitations out by Monday March 30, which is almost seven weeks before the wedding. I really don’t want it to be much later than that. I am currently in the process of gathering up addresses for everyone on our guest list, which I will hopefully finish this weekend.
Last weekend, Daniel and I started looking more seriously at choosing music for the wedding liturgy and we started reading through all the options for the readings and their commentary in the liturgy planning book Father Rick gave us a while ago. I love that we get to choose our own readings for the Mass, and I love reading them with Daniel as we try to find our favorites, but I have a feeling that it will be hard to actually make a final decision. We like quite a few of them. While we have not so far decided on our readings, we have chosen who we want our readers to be (although we haven’t asked them yet, so I won’t tell you who they are).
I have an aunt who is a florist, and I got around at last—it’s taken me a while—to e-mailing her about wedding flowers. I did not have much of a clue what I wanted or what I could afford before I talked to her, but she is so excited to help and gave me some ideas. It looks like my bouquet will be white roses and yellow freesia with ivy or some other greenery and a few blue flowers thrown in (maybe irises) so that I have both of our wedding colors in there. Obviously there are still more things to figure out flower-wise, but I feel so much better now that I’ve started talking to her about it!
With just a few days over two months left until the wedding, I’m finally starting to feel like things are coming together! I just hope I’m not being lulled into a false sense of security. Have a good weekend, everyone!
While we are up that direction, we are also going to go shopping at the outlets to look for “bridesmaiden” dresses for Rose and Jane (ages sixteen and fourteen). “Bridesmaiden” is the name I invented to use instead of “junior bridesmaid” since these teenage sisters of mine found the usual title offensive. Rose, especially, did not want to be a “junior” anything. Finally, we will also have a cake tasting appointment scheduled for Saturday morning—in fact, we will be doing that first, as nine o’clock was the only time slot the bakery had available that day.
Once we make it back home, my sister and maid of honor Marie and I (and maybe Daniel, if he can come) will go to the craft store to look for invitation kits. Marie is a graphic design major and an amazing artist, and she is helping me to design our invitations; we’ll just need blank invitations so that she can use them to work her magic.
I suppose we could just buy our own paper and cut it down to size the way we want it, but then we would also have to worry about response cards and envelopes as well as reception cards and the outer envelope. Wedding invitations are complicated like that. I’m not sure what we’ll end up doing. All I know is that my goal is to get the invitations out by Monday March 30, which is almost seven weeks before the wedding. I really don’t want it to be much later than that. I am currently in the process of gathering up addresses for everyone on our guest list, which I will hopefully finish this weekend.
Last weekend, Daniel and I started looking more seriously at choosing music for the wedding liturgy and we started reading through all the options for the readings and their commentary in the liturgy planning book Father Rick gave us a while ago. I love that we get to choose our own readings for the Mass, and I love reading them with Daniel as we try to find our favorites, but I have a feeling that it will be hard to actually make a final decision. We like quite a few of them. While we have not so far decided on our readings, we have chosen who we want our readers to be (although we haven’t asked them yet, so I won’t tell you who they are).
I have an aunt who is a florist, and I got around at last—it’s taken me a while—to e-mailing her about wedding flowers. I did not have much of a clue what I wanted or what I could afford before I talked to her, but she is so excited to help and gave me some ideas. It looks like my bouquet will be white roses and yellow freesia with ivy or some other greenery and a few blue flowers thrown in (maybe irises) so that I have both of our wedding colors in there. Obviously there are still more things to figure out flower-wise, but I feel so much better now that I’ve started talking to her about it!
With just a few days over two months left until the wedding, I’m finally starting to feel like things are coming together! I just hope I’m not being lulled into a false sense of security. Have a good weekend, everyone!
Friday, March 6, 2009
To Know by Heart
I, Sarah, take you, Daniel, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
Come to think of it, when the Rite of Marriage says “I, N., take you, N., to be…” it could be that we are supposed to insert full names (first, middle, and last) where it says “N.” I’ll have to look into that. Anyways, I’m practicing.
I’m also doing my homework. Daniel and I met with Father Rick, who will be presiding at our wedding, this past weekend over lunch. We gave him our baptismal certificates, marriage prep completion certificate, and marriage certificate since those things are all taken care of. Among other things, he told us that he wants us to memorize our vows. This is not only to make the vows more authentic/genuine during the wedding itself, but also so that between now and then we can each be seriously thinking about what it is we are promising when we stand up in front of God, our family, and friends and say those words.
It is interesting that people—kids especially, I think—use the words “by heart” when explaining that they have something memorized. For example, I can remember boasting as a little girl about my favorite movie (The Little Mermaid at the time), saying: “I’ve watched it so many times, I know all the words by heart.” Obviously it was not my heart, either literally or figuratively, that knew everything Ariel, Sebastian, or Grimsby was going to say before they said it. That would be my brain (look at that awesome higher education being put to work!). I suppose it was, though, the “love” I felt in my heart for The Little Mermaid that allowed memorization of the lines of the movie to come naturally and easily to me as a result of the countless number of times that VHS tape was played and rewound.
My point is that I think it would be appropriate for Daniel and me to think of what we have to do as “learning our vows by heart” rather than simply “memorizing” the words. “Memorizing” is what I did with that passage from A Midsummer Night’s Dream in AP Lit senior year of high school or the Preamble of the Constitution in eighth grade. No more than a few of those words stayed with me for long, and I’m still young! But I assure you that I can still recite the lines of every character in The Little Mermaid before they’re spoken.
Of course, my “love” for that Disney movie from my childhood can hardly be comparable to my love for Daniel… imagine then the power of these few but meaningful words when they are carved into our hearts and recalled over the course of our lifetime together: “I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.” These words are something that we can recall with every argument, every baby born, every bend in the road, every uphill climb, every wrinkle slowly created. Add to that the grace of the sacrament of marriage, and I’d say we’ve got something pretty indestructible.
Come to think of it, when the Rite of Marriage says “I, N., take you, N., to be…” it could be that we are supposed to insert full names (first, middle, and last) where it says “N.” I’ll have to look into that. Anyways, I’m practicing.
I’m also doing my homework. Daniel and I met with Father Rick, who will be presiding at our wedding, this past weekend over lunch. We gave him our baptismal certificates, marriage prep completion certificate, and marriage certificate since those things are all taken care of. Among other things, he told us that he wants us to memorize our vows. This is not only to make the vows more authentic/genuine during the wedding itself, but also so that between now and then we can each be seriously thinking about what it is we are promising when we stand up in front of God, our family, and friends and say those words.
It is interesting that people—kids especially, I think—use the words “by heart” when explaining that they have something memorized. For example, I can remember boasting as a little girl about my favorite movie (The Little Mermaid at the time), saying: “I’ve watched it so many times, I know all the words by heart.” Obviously it was not my heart, either literally or figuratively, that knew everything Ariel, Sebastian, or Grimsby was going to say before they said it. That would be my brain (look at that awesome higher education being put to work!). I suppose it was, though, the “love” I felt in my heart for The Little Mermaid that allowed memorization of the lines of the movie to come naturally and easily to me as a result of the countless number of times that VHS tape was played and rewound.
My point is that I think it would be appropriate for Daniel and me to think of what we have to do as “learning our vows by heart” rather than simply “memorizing” the words. “Memorizing” is what I did with that passage from A Midsummer Night’s Dream in AP Lit senior year of high school or the Preamble of the Constitution in eighth grade. No more than a few of those words stayed with me for long, and I’m still young! But I assure you that I can still recite the lines of every character in The Little Mermaid before they’re spoken.
Of course, my “love” for that Disney movie from my childhood can hardly be comparable to my love for Daniel… imagine then the power of these few but meaningful words when they are carved into our hearts and recalled over the course of our lifetime together: “I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.” These words are something that we can recall with every argument, every baby born, every bend in the road, every uphill climb, every wrinkle slowly created. Add to that the grace of the sacrament of marriage, and I’d say we’ve got something pretty indestructible.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Preparing for Marriage with Lent
Lent has begun. This is the time of year that I really try to put some extra effort into growing in faith and conforming my life to Christ. This Lent, Daniel and I are both giving up all television. I’m also planning on saying a daily Rosary, and Daniel and I are going to add Night Prayer (of the Liturgy of the Hours, which neither of us has ever done before) to our evening prayer time together. I’m really glad that the last couple of months before our wedding, for which we have been preparing for what seems like a very long time, includes the season of Lent.
Here’s why. Foryourmarriage.org suggests the following: “Take at least six months to intensively prepare for your marriage. This goes beyond choosing a date and church, reserving a place for the reception, and picking out dresses. It means using this time to delve more deeply into your relationship and approach this momentous day with prayer and reflection.”
Of course, Daniel and I had an engagement much longer than those six months. But the thing is, the last couple of months before a wedding require a lot of little (and big) preparations for “the big day” This causes a lot of stress, and can make it difficult to put the right emphasis on preparing for the marriage of which “the big day” is only the beginning.
Easter Sunday falls on April 12 this year, only one month and four days before our wedding. Lent, then, will be for Daniel and me a time of spiritual preparation for the sacrament of marriage in addition to the preparation for the joy of Easter. This time of fasting, sacrifice, and prayer will allow us/force us to focus on our relationship with God, both individually and as a couple, as being first and foremost in our lives now and our new life together that is soon to begin. And I love that our wedding is taking place during Easter, an appropriately joyful season.
FYI, here are the things I have crossed off my list recently:
- Make hair appointment (yes, I know I did that super early)
- Plan photographer shots
- Go bridesmaid dress shopping
By the way, I really appreciate all of your comments from the last few weeks. I love hearing your suggestions and kind, encouraging, and inspiring words. Thank you so much, and keep them coming!
Here’s why. Foryourmarriage.org suggests the following: “Take at least six months to intensively prepare for your marriage. This goes beyond choosing a date and church, reserving a place for the reception, and picking out dresses. It means using this time to delve more deeply into your relationship and approach this momentous day with prayer and reflection.”
Of course, Daniel and I had an engagement much longer than those six months. But the thing is, the last couple of months before a wedding require a lot of little (and big) preparations for “the big day” This causes a lot of stress, and can make it difficult to put the right emphasis on preparing for the marriage of which “the big day” is only the beginning.
Easter Sunday falls on April 12 this year, only one month and four days before our wedding. Lent, then, will be for Daniel and me a time of spiritual preparation for the sacrament of marriage in addition to the preparation for the joy of Easter. This time of fasting, sacrifice, and prayer will allow us/force us to focus on our relationship with God, both individually and as a couple, as being first and foremost in our lives now and our new life together that is soon to begin. And I love that our wedding is taking place during Easter, an appropriately joyful season.
FYI, here are the things I have crossed off my list recently:
- Make hair appointment (yes, I know I did that super early)
- Plan photographer shots
- Go bridesmaid dress shopping
By the way, I really appreciate all of your comments from the last few weeks. I love hearing your suggestions and kind, encouraging, and inspiring words. Thank you so much, and keep them coming!
Friday, February 20, 2009
The Rings
I’ve got a serious case of wedding-on-the-brain… and it seems to be getting worse by the day. No matter where I am or what I’m doing, I’ve got my to-do list running through my head like the credits on the screen at the end of a movie. Talk about distracting! It seems as though I have completely lost my ability to focus. And there are still almost three months left for me to be like this!
I do have some exciting news to share, though: Daniel and I bought our wedding bands last weekend! Daniel’s already fit him perfectly, so we were able to take it home on Saturday when we bought it, and I picked mine up on Tuesday after it had been sized for me.
I would like to have the rings engraved before the wedding, but we haven’t been able to decide on what to put on them. We thought about “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,” which is what we will say when we put the rings on each other’s fingers. I think that would be beautiful, but obviously it is too many letters to be engraved on a tiny piece of gold.
Then there’s always the option of doing our wedding date and our names or initials, but I feel like everyone does that. Maybe something in Latin, or even initials for a Latin phrase, like the classic Jesuit motto “AMDG” (Ad Majorem Dei gloriem), meaning “For the greater glory of God.” Others in my brainstorm include—with a little help from Wikipedia’s “Latin Mottos” page and a free online English-Latin dictionary:
Pari Passu, which means “with equal step,” “moving together,” or “hand-in-hand;”
Semper Fidelis, translated as “always faithful;”
Nihil Sine Deo, or “nothing without God;”
Amor et Fidelitas, meaning “love and fidelity;”
In Nomine Domini, which means “In the name of God.”
I guess we will have to make a decision on this fairly soon; I’m not sure how long it takes for the engraving to be done once we take the rings in. Hopefully it’s not too expensive either! I would love to hear what others have engraved on their wedding rings. Anyways, the clock is ticking… pray that I keep my sanity! God bless.
I do have some exciting news to share, though: Daniel and I bought our wedding bands last weekend! Daniel’s already fit him perfectly, so we were able to take it home on Saturday when we bought it, and I picked mine up on Tuesday after it had been sized for me.
I would like to have the rings engraved before the wedding, but we haven’t been able to decide on what to put on them. We thought about “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,” which is what we will say when we put the rings on each other’s fingers. I think that would be beautiful, but obviously it is too many letters to be engraved on a tiny piece of gold.
Then there’s always the option of doing our wedding date and our names or initials, but I feel like everyone does that. Maybe something in Latin, or even initials for a Latin phrase, like the classic Jesuit motto “AMDG” (Ad Majorem Dei gloriem), meaning “For the greater glory of God.” Others in my brainstorm include—with a little help from Wikipedia’s “Latin Mottos” page and a free online English-Latin dictionary:
Pari Passu, which means “with equal step,” “moving together,” or “hand-in-hand;”
Semper Fidelis, translated as “always faithful;”
Nihil Sine Deo, or “nothing without God;”
Amor et Fidelitas, meaning “love and fidelity;”
In Nomine Domini, which means “In the name of God.”
I guess we will have to make a decision on this fairly soon; I’m not sure how long it takes for the engraving to be done once we take the rings in. Hopefully it’s not too expensive either! I would love to hear what others have engraved on their wedding rings. Anyways, the clock is ticking… pray that I keep my sanity! God bless.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Best Friends
Who is your best friend? If you are married, engaged, or even just “engaged to be engaged,” I hope that you would say that the reason you want to spend the rest of your life with this person is because he is your best friend (or she, I’m just speaking from the woman’s perspective here).
I personally have quite a few “best friends,” colloquially speaking. I still have my “best friend from elementary school,” “best friend from middle school,” “best friend from high school,” and a few “best friends from college” (my roomies). Then there are my siblings, especially my sisters, who I consider to be my best friends, plus a few “best cousins” for good measure. The fact of the matter is that if I actually take the meaning of the word “best” seriously, then none of these people actually fit the bill (sorry to all of you that I mentioned).
They are all very good, close friends with whom I truly enjoy spending time, talking, and laughing. We share lots of fun and not-so-fun memories from different phases of my life, including the eighteen years before Daniel even entered the picture. But none of them are my best friend. Daniel has sole claim to that title, which is a good thing. He’s the one I’m marrying, after all!
There are a lot of movies and TV shows out there that seem to tout female friendship as being a relationship equal in value to the marital relationship, if not more valuable. I’ll use an example from Grey’s Anatomy, which is a show that I guess you could call a “guilty pleasure” of mine because—let’s face it—it certainly isn’t going to win any award for modeling Catholic morality (if there was such an award).
This season, friends Meredith and Christina spent several episodes not talking to each another because they were fighting. Meredith was really upset about something and her boyfriend Derek was unable to console her. So he drove her over to Christina’s house and told Christina that Meredith was in the car and wouldn’t stop crying. He didn’t know what to do, and wanted Christina to get over their fight and come out to the car to be with Meredith. Anyone who watches the show knows that Christina is Meredith’s “person,” above and beyond anything Derek seems to ever be for her, even though Meredith and Derek will presumably get engaged very soon. You can find countless examples like this on television, in movies, and in books; each with varying degrees to which this theme is present. After I noticed it once, I started noticing it everywhere.
Sorry if I lost anyone there; my point is that there is something not quite right about that kind of situation, at least in my mind. If you love someone enough to be seriously considering marrying him, then he should be your primary confidante—the only one to whom the statement “we tell each other everything” should apply. At least that’s the way I see it. Not that I don’t confide in my girlfriends, because I do. It’s just not to the same degree as I confide in Daniel, with whom I actually do share everything.
Female friendships are extremely important, but my relationship with my [future] husband is what I am going to be held most accountable for at the end of my life. That’s the relationship that I’m going to focus on. Alright, I’ll get down off my soapbox now.
I personally have quite a few “best friends,” colloquially speaking. I still have my “best friend from elementary school,” “best friend from middle school,” “best friend from high school,” and a few “best friends from college” (my roomies). Then there are my siblings, especially my sisters, who I consider to be my best friends, plus a few “best cousins” for good measure. The fact of the matter is that if I actually take the meaning of the word “best” seriously, then none of these people actually fit the bill (sorry to all of you that I mentioned).
They are all very good, close friends with whom I truly enjoy spending time, talking, and laughing. We share lots of fun and not-so-fun memories from different phases of my life, including the eighteen years before Daniel even entered the picture. But none of them are my best friend. Daniel has sole claim to that title, which is a good thing. He’s the one I’m marrying, after all!
There are a lot of movies and TV shows out there that seem to tout female friendship as being a relationship equal in value to the marital relationship, if not more valuable. I’ll use an example from Grey’s Anatomy, which is a show that I guess you could call a “guilty pleasure” of mine because—let’s face it—it certainly isn’t going to win any award for modeling Catholic morality (if there was such an award).
This season, friends Meredith and Christina spent several episodes not talking to each another because they were fighting. Meredith was really upset about something and her boyfriend Derek was unable to console her. So he drove her over to Christina’s house and told Christina that Meredith was in the car and wouldn’t stop crying. He didn’t know what to do, and wanted Christina to get over their fight and come out to the car to be with Meredith. Anyone who watches the show knows that Christina is Meredith’s “person,” above and beyond anything Derek seems to ever be for her, even though Meredith and Derek will presumably get engaged very soon. You can find countless examples like this on television, in movies, and in books; each with varying degrees to which this theme is present. After I noticed it once, I started noticing it everywhere.
Sorry if I lost anyone there; my point is that there is something not quite right about that kind of situation, at least in my mind. If you love someone enough to be seriously considering marrying him, then he should be your primary confidante—the only one to whom the statement “we tell each other everything” should apply. At least that’s the way I see it. Not that I don’t confide in my girlfriends, because I do. It’s just not to the same degree as I confide in Daniel, with whom I actually do share everything.
Female friendships are extremely important, but my relationship with my [future] husband is what I am going to be held most accountable for at the end of my life. That’s the relationship that I’m going to focus on. Alright, I’ll get down off my soapbox now.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Living in Different Time Zones
I was just looking at the “Do you operate in different marital time zones?” quiz on foryourmarriage.org, and it got me thinking, although not exactly about the content of the quiz itself. My thoughts took a different direction.
Here we go: I get grumpy when Daniel falls asleep when we are “supposed to be” spending time together; this grumpiness ranges from annoyance to full-out anger, depending on the mood I was already in. I don’t know why—I guess it’s because when he falls asleep I feel like he is leaving me alone or something.
In any event, in our current situation Daniel is living with his parents about forty-five minutes away from our house and spends the weekends with me. While he is here, he sleeps over at my parents’ house a few minutes down the road, and we usually stay up late spending time together before he drives over there. The problem is that Daniel is a morning person and I am a night person—and I’m not sure whether this issue will be eased or exacerbated once we are married and living together.
Here is a typical scenario: It is a Friday or Saturday night and Daniel and I are reading, watching a movie, or working on a project together, etc. Somewhere between nine and eleven o’clock, Daniel will start to get tired and often fall asleep if he is sitting on the couch. If he doesn’t fall asleep, he will get continually more tired and grumpy as the minutes pass by.
Then, there are usually various things that have to be done at the end of the day, whether it’s loading the dishwasher, straightening the living room, or locking up the shed. I may get up and start doing some of these things with Daniel already asleep on the couch, but if he is still awake he may do them while I go and get ready for bed, to save time. By the time I’m finished and ready to pray together, which we always do before he leaves, I have to wake him up. This is usually not an easy task, and it puts both of us in a bad mood if we are not careful.
The next morning, if it is a Saturday, Daniel usually wakes up at my parents’ house and drives back over to our house before I am awake. He is sometimes frustrated by how long it takes me to get out of bed once he gets there, but he is almost always nice about it, sometimes even making coffee and breakfast for when I finally manage to get my feet on the floor (a terrible battle I am forced to fight every single morning).
Does anyone have a similar situation and have suggestions for how Daniel and I can start to live in the same “time zone” once we get married? Or is this just an inevitable struggle that we’ll have to live with? Oh well, I guess there are certainly worse problems we could have.
In other news: as I am writing this, on Thursday, there are exactly 100 days left until the wedding!! I also booked a deejay this morning—it felt great crossing that one off my list! Have a good weekend, everyone.
Here we go: I get grumpy when Daniel falls asleep when we are “supposed to be” spending time together; this grumpiness ranges from annoyance to full-out anger, depending on the mood I was already in. I don’t know why—I guess it’s because when he falls asleep I feel like he is leaving me alone or something.
In any event, in our current situation Daniel is living with his parents about forty-five minutes away from our house and spends the weekends with me. While he is here, he sleeps over at my parents’ house a few minutes down the road, and we usually stay up late spending time together before he drives over there. The problem is that Daniel is a morning person and I am a night person—and I’m not sure whether this issue will be eased or exacerbated once we are married and living together.
Here is a typical scenario: It is a Friday or Saturday night and Daniel and I are reading, watching a movie, or working on a project together, etc. Somewhere between nine and eleven o’clock, Daniel will start to get tired and often fall asleep if he is sitting on the couch. If he doesn’t fall asleep, he will get continually more tired and grumpy as the minutes pass by.
Then, there are usually various things that have to be done at the end of the day, whether it’s loading the dishwasher, straightening the living room, or locking up the shed. I may get up and start doing some of these things with Daniel already asleep on the couch, but if he is still awake he may do them while I go and get ready for bed, to save time. By the time I’m finished and ready to pray together, which we always do before he leaves, I have to wake him up. This is usually not an easy task, and it puts both of us in a bad mood if we are not careful.
The next morning, if it is a Saturday, Daniel usually wakes up at my parents’ house and drives back over to our house before I am awake. He is sometimes frustrated by how long it takes me to get out of bed once he gets there, but he is almost always nice about it, sometimes even making coffee and breakfast for when I finally manage to get my feet on the floor (a terrible battle I am forced to fight every single morning).
Does anyone have a similar situation and have suggestions for how Daniel and I can start to live in the same “time zone” once we get married? Or is this just an inevitable struggle that we’ll have to live with? Oh well, I guess there are certainly worse problems we could have.
In other news: as I am writing this, on Thursday, there are exactly 100 days left until the wedding!! I also booked a deejay this morning—it felt great crossing that one off my list! Have a good weekend, everyone.
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