This week's entry is written by Daniel.
Let me begin by saying that I am not as eloquent as my wife. To give you proper perspective, Sarah worked at the writing center when we were in college and I was a frequent user of the writing center. That said, I would like to focus on a few things in this post through an all-encompassing story. I hope to address my faith, conflicts within marriage, and my new understanding of love. That’s not such a bad thesis (maybe the writing center did help!)
I remember when Sarah and I never fought. In the first days of dating, you want to seem as pleasing as possible to the other person, but eventually that changes (as it should.) One day, Sarah and I had a fight about religion and God. This was by no means our first fight, but it was a fight that I will NEVER forget.
At that time, I was practically an agnostic. I did not believe God existed because I couldn’t prove it in my mind. I had no “proof” that God existed, therefore he did not. Then one day Sarah and I had a conversation about faith.
Not too far into this conversation, Sarah and I were upset with each other and she was practically in tears. I don’t raise my voice when arguing which drives Sarah crazy because I’m calm when she thinks I should be showing more emotion. For the life of me, I cannot remember the sentence that preceded what Sarah said to me, but what she said to me changed my life forever. After arguing with all my intellect, Sarah responded with this simple phrase, “You don’t understand because you don’t have as much faith as I do.”
I’m not sure how to describe the way I felt when she said that. I didn’t believe in God, but her statement hit me like a bullet. What does she mean she has more faith than I do?? The nerve of that girl! Who does she think I am? Not knowing what to say, I stormed out of the room after having to move Sarah out of my way (don’t worry I just picked her up and moved her 6 inches). She was yelling my name down the hallway, saying she was sorry but I was already out of the building.
I don’t remember running, but I was at my destination faster than I had ever been before. Furious with Sarah, I had to take time to cool off. I stopped at a park bench near the school library, pacing back and forth. I was a mess. I didn’t believe there was a God, so why was I so bothered that I didn’t have as much faith as she did? I’m better off not believing in her silly religion anyway, right? But I couldn’t stop thinking about what she said.
An hour went by as I sat on the bench. Then it happened. While slumping over on a bench in the middle of our college campus with my hands wrapped around my head, I heard a voice. Not just any voice, but a voice that I had never heard before. It was a calm, clear, non-gendered voice, neither high nor low. Hearing voices is a cause for concern to a 19 year old clinical psychology student, but the voice was comforting, as a best friend’s voice is comforting when you are all alone and scared. The voice simply said “Go back.” It never repeated itself, but it was one of the clearest things I have ever heard. So I listened, and I went back.
When I went back to Sarah, I found her in tears. Even though she was crying she looked more beautiful to me than ever before. I could see that she loved me and that she was very sad at the thought of losing me, even though I was the one in the wrong. She hugged me and we talked for hours with a million apologies on both sides. I believe that I heard the voice of God that night.
After all our years together, I finally understand why the voice sent me back. God could have said, “Hey dummy, I’m over here.” God could have done wondrous things to prove to me that he existed. But he didn’t want to prove himself to me, he wanted me with Sarah. Over the next several years, I began to deepen my faith with Sarah. It started with prayer and then church. She taught me how faith could make sense. I learned from her (and others) that the existence of God and miracles doesn’t conflict with logic, but that logically the world could only exist through God.
What happened that night has spilled over into my entire life. First, faith makes sense; once I held God as a truth everything else seemed to fit, but without God nothing fit. Second, having a wonderful wife, family, and friends has taught me that faith deepens through relationships because each one of us holds Christ within us. Our faith becomes more powerful and understandable when we share it, rather than hide it. Third, our marital fights may be very serious, but we always know how they will end. Each of us now knows that we are meant for the other. We constantly try to lead each other to Christ because that is what it means to love someone. Sometimes we just forget and argue about dishes or the fact that I sleep all the time.
Fourth and finally, I am always listening for that voice to tell me what to do again. But what I have learned over the years is that voice now comes from within me. I have never experienced that feeling again, but I believe that God opened my heart to help me see his will more clearly. God never told me what to do, but he made the choice obvious.
Since this is probably the only time that I will ever get something "published" I just wanted to add an acknowledgement. I would like to thank God for always leading my heart with his message of love, and to my wife, Sarah, who helps me listen and interpret.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
The End of the Sleepover Era
Don’t worry—this week, I’m cooling it with the heavy theological/philosophical stuff.
Daniel’s birthday was this week, and I was all excited about being able to wake up and bring him breakfast in bed now that we live together, but I didn’t wake up in time, which upset me greatly. After work, Daniel helped load a truck for someone who was moving, so he didn’t get home until around 8:00. We went out to grab a couple of sandwiches and an order of mozzarella sticks to go, and ate them in bed while we folded laundry… at 10:00 p.m. Not exactly the most exciting birthday for Daniel, but I promised him a special day on Saturday, with an ice cream cake and candles, and the standard birthday royalty treatment all day.
This weekend, I turned down an invitation to an Assateague Island camping trip bachelorette party for a friend from college who is getting married on September 6. In my e-mail RSVP, I couldn’t even give the real reason for not being able to go. I had no concrete excuse. No prior plans. When you’re the only married person in a group of friends, how exactly do you say what you really want to say:
“When I got married, it was with the understanding that my life couldn’t be the same as it was before. I knew then that the sleepover I had with my bridesmaids the night before my own wedding would be the end of my fifteen year long sleepover era. I just can’t spend a weekend away from my new husband. If the party were not so far away, I could come for part of the time and then head home to my husband at the end of the evening. Really, though, I think that camping at the beach is a neat idea for a bachelorette party—I hope that you girls have an awesome time!”
To me, this explanation was too long and complicated, and I did not want to somehow sound rude. Thankfully, my friend (the maid of honor) did not ask the question that I would have felt uncomfortable answering.
Does anyone have a similar story that they could share to make me feel better? If you do, please share! By the way, make sure that you are here next Friday—Daniel’s writing! I don’t think he plans to do more than one, so it may be on the long side… and he won’t tell me what he’s going to write about, which makes the control freak in me a little nervous.
You’ll hear from me again on August 14th!
Daniel’s birthday was this week, and I was all excited about being able to wake up and bring him breakfast in bed now that we live together, but I didn’t wake up in time, which upset me greatly. After work, Daniel helped load a truck for someone who was moving, so he didn’t get home until around 8:00. We went out to grab a couple of sandwiches and an order of mozzarella sticks to go, and ate them in bed while we folded laundry… at 10:00 p.m. Not exactly the most exciting birthday for Daniel, but I promised him a special day on Saturday, with an ice cream cake and candles, and the standard birthday royalty treatment all day.
This weekend, I turned down an invitation to an Assateague Island camping trip bachelorette party for a friend from college who is getting married on September 6. In my e-mail RSVP, I couldn’t even give the real reason for not being able to go. I had no concrete excuse. No prior plans. When you’re the only married person in a group of friends, how exactly do you say what you really want to say:
“When I got married, it was with the understanding that my life couldn’t be the same as it was before. I knew then that the sleepover I had with my bridesmaids the night before my own wedding would be the end of my fifteen year long sleepover era. I just can’t spend a weekend away from my new husband. If the party were not so far away, I could come for part of the time and then head home to my husband at the end of the evening. Really, though, I think that camping at the beach is a neat idea for a bachelorette party—I hope that you girls have an awesome time!”
To me, this explanation was too long and complicated, and I did not want to somehow sound rude. Thankfully, my friend (the maid of honor) did not ask the question that I would have felt uncomfortable answering.
Does anyone have a similar story that they could share to make me feel better? If you do, please share! By the way, make sure that you are here next Friday—Daniel’s writing! I don’t think he plans to do more than one, so it may be on the long side… and he won’t tell me what he’s going to write about, which makes the control freak in me a little nervous.
You’ll hear from me again on August 14th!
Friday, July 24, 2009
"Happily Ever After" - Part 2
Daniel and I dedicated a good chunk of both Friday night and Saturday to battling our seemingly inescapable enemy: clutter. We pulled all kinds of books, old paperwork, and memorabilia/trinkets of various shapes and sizes out of their hiding places and piled them all in the living room to be gone through. Over the course of the weekend, we actually made a pretty good dent—lots of paper went out to the recycling bin and our yard sale pile is decent as well.
This is the kind of thing that I am never very good at myself, so it was good that I had Daniel to push me on. I tend to get nostalgic about almost everything. It just makes me sad to think of getting rid of things that may have been important to me five or ten years ago, regardless of how good I always feel about it once the deed is done.
I thought some more about “happily ever after” this week, realizing that I spent some time analyzing the “happily” part of it in my last entry, but didn’t look into the “ever after” half of it. Who knew that such a common, seemingly simple phrase from children’s stories could be analyzed this much?
Anyway (I promise this is connected), as I sorted through old birthday, Christmas, and graduation cards, I had to make decisions about what was still important to me and what was no longer important. Memories were dragged to the foreground and the nostalgia set in. I started thinking about time, how fast it goes by and how it changes things. How it changes people. Friendships in my past had come to an end, whether through a dramatic change or by the process of slowly but perceptibly drifting apart. Everything comes to an end in time; we all know this. It is part of the human experience.
My marriage to Daniel is only beginning, so perhaps I shouldn’t be concerning myself too much with the thought that someday it will end. But this is something that I can’t help but thinking about. So, in my search for comfort, I latched onto the words of our wedding vows: “I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.” This wording is different from another option, seen in movies and secular weddings, but also an option in the Rite of Marriage, in what I see as a significant way. We didn’t say, “until death do us part.” Even in Heaven, we will still be loving each other, even if it is not in the same way that we love each other now.
As Catholic Christians, we believe that bodily death is not the end of our life. It is when we are baptized that we die and are resurrected in Christ. When our bodies die, we live on. Our souls are immortal, and someday even our bodies, perfected, will join us again. If this is the case, then “all the days of my life,” really means something more than “as long as we’re both walking around on this earth.”
Here is where we join up once again with “happily ever after.” This phrase was on my mind as well when I was de-cluttering my house.
“…ever after.”
As I wrote last week, isn’t “happily ever after” what we are promised as Christians? Eternal joy with our Lord is absolutely the biggest “happily ever after” there could be. “Ever after” means that whatever it is, there is no ending to it. It’s forever. In terms of marriage, making a promise to love and honor someone “all the days of my life” sounds an awful lot like “ever after” to me. Let’s try it. “I will love you and honor you ever after.” The meaning is still there.
The idea of getting old and dying scares me, although not as much as the idea of dying without getting old. I imagine that it scares most everyone. It’s the fear of the unknown; no one dies and lives to tell the tale (except Jesus, of course). It’s also the fear of being alone. Passing from this world to the next is a journey every single person has to take on their own. I’m reminded of a movie that I loved in high school (and still do). In A Walk to Remember, Landon asks his girlfriend Jamie whether she is scared of dying. She replies, “I’m scared of not being with you.”
This is where “ever after” is helpful. If we are truly joined “ever after,” for “all the days of our lives,” by token of our faith in Christ, then even though we must be separated for a time while one of us remains on this earth without the other, we will hopefully be able to see it as merely an intermission. We will hopefully be strong enough in our faith to know that what is coming next is even better than what we will have experienced in our life together here. Unfathomably better.
At some point, one of us (Daniel or I) will die. Only God knows when that will be. To dedicate your life to loving and serving someone knowing that at any given time you could lose him or her (and at some point, you definitely will) is a really, really scary thing. But we love anyway. We accept that pain because it is worth it. Because even when everything is not “happy” or easy, loving is what makes life worthwhile. Because we are made in the image of our Creator, who is Love.
And because we believe that true love really does last forever. We risk the pain, and we will someday endure the pain, because we believe in “happily ever after.” We really do. We’re Christians.
This is the kind of thing that I am never very good at myself, so it was good that I had Daniel to push me on. I tend to get nostalgic about almost everything. It just makes me sad to think of getting rid of things that may have been important to me five or ten years ago, regardless of how good I always feel about it once the deed is done.
I thought some more about “happily ever after” this week, realizing that I spent some time analyzing the “happily” part of it in my last entry, but didn’t look into the “ever after” half of it. Who knew that such a common, seemingly simple phrase from children’s stories could be analyzed this much?
Anyway (I promise this is connected), as I sorted through old birthday, Christmas, and graduation cards, I had to make decisions about what was still important to me and what was no longer important. Memories were dragged to the foreground and the nostalgia set in. I started thinking about time, how fast it goes by and how it changes things. How it changes people. Friendships in my past had come to an end, whether through a dramatic change or by the process of slowly but perceptibly drifting apart. Everything comes to an end in time; we all know this. It is part of the human experience.
My marriage to Daniel is only beginning, so perhaps I shouldn’t be concerning myself too much with the thought that someday it will end. But this is something that I can’t help but thinking about. So, in my search for comfort, I latched onto the words of our wedding vows: “I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.” This wording is different from another option, seen in movies and secular weddings, but also an option in the Rite of Marriage, in what I see as a significant way. We didn’t say, “until death do us part.” Even in Heaven, we will still be loving each other, even if it is not in the same way that we love each other now.
As Catholic Christians, we believe that bodily death is not the end of our life. It is when we are baptized that we die and are resurrected in Christ. When our bodies die, we live on. Our souls are immortal, and someday even our bodies, perfected, will join us again. If this is the case, then “all the days of my life,” really means something more than “as long as we’re both walking around on this earth.”
Here is where we join up once again with “happily ever after.” This phrase was on my mind as well when I was de-cluttering my house.
“…ever after.”
As I wrote last week, isn’t “happily ever after” what we are promised as Christians? Eternal joy with our Lord is absolutely the biggest “happily ever after” there could be. “Ever after” means that whatever it is, there is no ending to it. It’s forever. In terms of marriage, making a promise to love and honor someone “all the days of my life” sounds an awful lot like “ever after” to me. Let’s try it. “I will love you and honor you ever after.” The meaning is still there.
The idea of getting old and dying scares me, although not as much as the idea of dying without getting old. I imagine that it scares most everyone. It’s the fear of the unknown; no one dies and lives to tell the tale (except Jesus, of course). It’s also the fear of being alone. Passing from this world to the next is a journey every single person has to take on their own. I’m reminded of a movie that I loved in high school (and still do). In A Walk to Remember, Landon asks his girlfriend Jamie whether she is scared of dying. She replies, “I’m scared of not being with you.”
This is where “ever after” is helpful. If we are truly joined “ever after,” for “all the days of our lives,” by token of our faith in Christ, then even though we must be separated for a time while one of us remains on this earth without the other, we will hopefully be able to see it as merely an intermission. We will hopefully be strong enough in our faith to know that what is coming next is even better than what we will have experienced in our life together here. Unfathomably better.
At some point, one of us (Daniel or I) will die. Only God knows when that will be. To dedicate your life to loving and serving someone knowing that at any given time you could lose him or her (and at some point, you definitely will) is a really, really scary thing. But we love anyway. We accept that pain because it is worth it. Because even when everything is not “happy” or easy, loving is what makes life worthwhile. Because we are made in the image of our Creator, who is Love.
And because we believe that true love really does last forever. We risk the pain, and we will someday endure the pain, because we believe in “happily ever after.” We really do. We’re Christians.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Giving "Happily Ever After" a Chance
I wonder how Cinderella felt after she and Prince Charming had been married for two months. That’s how long it’s been for Daniel and me now—two whole months. I guess you could say we are still in the honeymoon phase of our marriage, even though our honeymoon trip only lasted one week.
That’s not to say that we are perfectly “happy” all the time; even our very young marriage has its share of sharp words, tears, and apologies. In even our very young marriage, we deal with messes, broken appliances, and leaky sinks. We worry about money, we worry about the future, and we worry about little things like the wolf spiders and pincher bugs that keep finding their way into our house (at least I do). We sometimes disagree about what it means that the kitchen sink area be “clean” and how often the grass needs to be cut. And I get unnecessarily irritated when Daniel starts to fall asleep before I’ve finished my nightly routine that takes so much longer than his.
Did Cinderella have these kinds of problems? How about Snow White or Aurora? They were all supposed to have lived “happily ever after,” right? (Plus, they all ended up with servants and so didn’t have to worry about cleaning and mowing lawns, but I won’t go into that)
“Living happily ever after is for Disney characters,” according to one reader who posted a comment on last week’s blog entry. When I read it, I had no problem agreeing with that very true statement. In real life, we can’t all ride off into the sunset with the one we love and live a life of luxury. Taking it a step further, Linda Miles was quoted in a foryourmarriage.org daily marriage tip last week, saying: “All those ‘and they lived happily ever after’ fairy tale endings need to be changed to ‘and they began the very hard work of making their marriages happy.’”
Happy.
I’ve been thinking—what does it really mean to “live happily”? Is “happily ever after” really just for Disney characters? Or is it what is promised to all Christians by our God Himself?
Living life as a follower of Jesus Christ is not supposed to be easy; He told us, in fact, that it would not be easy. Daniel and I were called to the marriage vocation, meaning that living our lives together as a married couple is the way we follow the Lord, from May 16th forward. And while following Him is not easy, it is happy. This is because true joy is found in living the life of a disciple of Christ. We are told that we will have “peace that surpasses all understanding,” etc. (Phil 4:7).
So, if real happiness lies in following God and doing his will, and married couples in the Church follow God through their ever-sacramental daily married life, then getting married and living “happily ever after” doesn’t actually seem that far off the mark. Being truly happy is about finding fulfillment in loving and serving God and others, particularly your spouse if you are married.
If this is the case, then in the sense that Disney characters live “happily ever after” at the end of every fairytale, real life marriages really can’t be that way and shouldn’t be expected to be that way. But it is true that “He who finds a wife [or husband] finds happiness; it is a favor he receives from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22).
None of us are perfect. Daniel’s and my marriage, like every marriage, is going to take some hard work. Only God knows what sorrows and difficulties lie in the road ahead for us. We can’t expect to live easily ever after—but happily ever after is something we should be striving for.
That’s not to say that we are perfectly “happy” all the time; even our very young marriage has its share of sharp words, tears, and apologies. In even our very young marriage, we deal with messes, broken appliances, and leaky sinks. We worry about money, we worry about the future, and we worry about little things like the wolf spiders and pincher bugs that keep finding their way into our house (at least I do). We sometimes disagree about what it means that the kitchen sink area be “clean” and how often the grass needs to be cut. And I get unnecessarily irritated when Daniel starts to fall asleep before I’ve finished my nightly routine that takes so much longer than his.
Did Cinderella have these kinds of problems? How about Snow White or Aurora? They were all supposed to have lived “happily ever after,” right? (Plus, they all ended up with servants and so didn’t have to worry about cleaning and mowing lawns, but I won’t go into that)
“Living happily ever after is for Disney characters,” according to one reader who posted a comment on last week’s blog entry. When I read it, I had no problem agreeing with that very true statement. In real life, we can’t all ride off into the sunset with the one we love and live a life of luxury. Taking it a step further, Linda Miles was quoted in a foryourmarriage.org daily marriage tip last week, saying: “All those ‘and they lived happily ever after’ fairy tale endings need to be changed to ‘and they began the very hard work of making their marriages happy.’”
Happy.
I’ve been thinking—what does it really mean to “live happily”? Is “happily ever after” really just for Disney characters? Or is it what is promised to all Christians by our God Himself?
Living life as a follower of Jesus Christ is not supposed to be easy; He told us, in fact, that it would not be easy. Daniel and I were called to the marriage vocation, meaning that living our lives together as a married couple is the way we follow the Lord, from May 16th forward. And while following Him is not easy, it is happy. This is because true joy is found in living the life of a disciple of Christ. We are told that we will have “peace that surpasses all understanding,” etc. (Phil 4:7).
So, if real happiness lies in following God and doing his will, and married couples in the Church follow God through their ever-sacramental daily married life, then getting married and living “happily ever after” doesn’t actually seem that far off the mark. Being truly happy is about finding fulfillment in loving and serving God and others, particularly your spouse if you are married.
If this is the case, then in the sense that Disney characters live “happily ever after” at the end of every fairytale, real life marriages really can’t be that way and shouldn’t be expected to be that way. But it is true that “He who finds a wife [or husband] finds happiness; it is a favor he receives from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22).
None of us are perfect. Daniel’s and my marriage, like every marriage, is going to take some hard work. Only God knows what sorrows and difficulties lie in the road ahead for us. We can’t expect to live easily ever after—but happily ever after is something we should be striving for.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Weekend plans--or not
I am really looking forward to this weekend. The past couple of weekends have been pretty busy for Daniel and me—two weekends ago we stayed with my younger cousins while my uncle and aunt went on a trip to celebrate their tenth wedding anniversary. We had a lot of fun there, first of all because my cousins (ages six, twelve, fourteen, and sixteen) are a lot of fun to hang out with and we love them, and second of all because they have a pool in their yard. That makes for a pretty darn good summer weekend, one that would have been absolutely perfect if Daniel hadn’t gotten sun poisoning on Saturday. Poor thing.
And last weekend, for the 4th of July, we went to the beach with my college roommates. We had an awesome time relaxing and reading on the beach (I’m not a swimming in the Atlantic Ocean kind of girl), and we watched fireworks from a boat out on the bay.
This weekend, though, we have no plans—which by no means implies that we have nothing to do. I’m looking forward to getting some work done on our bedroom and bathroom, or taking our wedding money shopping for some things we still need… like a toaster oven that’s not from the 1980’s. My family is leaving for Georgia on Friday, where another aunt, uncle, and cousin live. This is the first time I won’t be with them when they go down there, which is a little sad for me.
This week, I’m admitting to a case of writer’s block as far as this blog is concerned. I’m hoping to get Daniel to write an entry sometime in the next few weeks. Cross your fingers! But I would love to hear some ideas from you guys—what do you want to read about? Do you have any questions about the wedding planning or the wedding itself that you were hoping I would touch on and never did?
And last weekend, for the 4th of July, we went to the beach with my college roommates. We had an awesome time relaxing and reading on the beach (I’m not a swimming in the Atlantic Ocean kind of girl), and we watched fireworks from a boat out on the bay.
This weekend, though, we have no plans—which by no means implies that we have nothing to do. I’m looking forward to getting some work done on our bedroom and bathroom, or taking our wedding money shopping for some things we still need… like a toaster oven that’s not from the 1980’s. My family is leaving for Georgia on Friday, where another aunt, uncle, and cousin live. This is the first time I won’t be with them when they go down there, which is a little sad for me.
This week, I’m admitting to a case of writer’s block as far as this blog is concerned. I’m hoping to get Daniel to write an entry sometime in the next few weeks. Cross your fingers! But I would love to hear some ideas from you guys—what do you want to read about? Do you have any questions about the wedding planning or the wedding itself that you were hoping I would touch on and never did?
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Being Married
Now it’s time to catch you up on the last month and a half, the first month and a half of Daniel’s and my married life together (since it’s taken me that long just to tell you about the wedding weekend!). I absolutely love being married. I love getting to see Daniel every single day no matter what—waking up to his kisses every morning, coming home to him every day after work, and cuddling up to him every night when I go to bed.
We had a great time on our honeymoon to North Redington Beach, Florida. The condo we stayed in was right on the beach, with a beautiful balcony view overlooking the water. Unfortunately, it rained almost the entire time we were there. We only sat on the beach for a couple of hours of one day, and didn’t really go in the water at all. But we did drive the two hours to Orlando on two days, once to go to Discovery Cove, which was the coolest place either of us had ever been. Seriously. I highly recommend it.
The second day we went to Sea World, which was somewhere both of us had always wanted to go. It was stormy and cold all day there, so all of the rides were shut down. That wasn’t such a big deal, though—we can ride rollercoasters anywhere. We ran through the rain from exhibit to exhibit to see the animals, usually avoiding the ones that weren’t under cover.
Other than that, we took a few long walks along the beach, spent a lot of time reading, and went to a lot of delicious restaurants. Our goal was to go to non-chain restaurants only, which we followed pretty well, except for the Wendy’s where we stopped on the way to our condo from the airport our first day there. Overall, it was wonderful to spend a vacation together, away from all the stress we had been under for so long before the wedding.
When we got home, it was time to “settle down.” Daniel still had stuff that needed to be moved from his parents’ house, so we made a couple of trips back and forth from there. We still have some remodeling to do in our bedroom and bathroom so that two people can live in them comfortably. What seems most important right now: There’s not currently enough storage space for everything we’re trying to cram into that room (not that it was much better when it was just me in there). There have also been wedding gifts to put away, a new dishwasher to install, and a new tractor to buy since we’ve been home. Daniel’s car has had to be towed twice in the last month (it’s getting old). So we’ve been busy. Regardless of what we’re doing, it’s exciting to get into new routines now that we’re living together!
We got our photo discs back from our photographer a couple of weeks ago, some of which you have seen. He did such a great job! We’re presently in the process of choosing pictures to have him print for an album, and then we can choose larger prints for all of the new frames we received as gifts! Definitely a fun project. Speaking of frames, we were also given an apostolic blessing from the Vatican by my bosses, which we still need to have framed so it can be hung on our wall. It is so beautiful and special.
One thing that I’ve had to deal with that I hadn’t really considered before the wedding was what I’ll call “post-wedding depression” for lack of a better term. During the wedding planning process, I know that I really tried to put my focus in the right place: on the sacrament, and the marriage that only begins on the wedding day.
But it’s still hard to escape the fact that most girls start thinking about their wedding day as soon as they’re old enough to know what a wedding is, and I was certainly no exception, dressing up as a bride just for fun as a little girl, playing “wedding” with my Barbies, and reading the newspaper’s annual wedding guide section from cover to cover every year in high school. Plus, to have spent the last two years thinking about and planning for that specific day, May 16, 2009—let’s just say that having it behind me was, for the first few weeks, the biggest morning-after-Christmas feeling ever. I’m sure you all know what I mean by that.
Luckily, though, I think that having at least tried to put my focus in the right place during marriage preparation has helped. The “post-wedding depression” has almost completely cleared up now. It has also been comforting and exciting to think about not only marriage, but also the wedding as a foretaste of Heaven. Having experienced my own wedding Mass and reception, being completely full of joy and celebrating with everyone that I love, I think I can really appreciate the analogy of Heaven as being “the wedding feast of the Lamb.” It’s hard to imagine anything happier than my wedding day—to think that Heaven will be exponentially better is incredible. It really gives a person something to look forward to; and that wedding feast will never end!
We had a great time on our honeymoon to North Redington Beach, Florida. The condo we stayed in was right on the beach, with a beautiful balcony view overlooking the water. Unfortunately, it rained almost the entire time we were there. We only sat on the beach for a couple of hours of one day, and didn’t really go in the water at all. But we did drive the two hours to Orlando on two days, once to go to Discovery Cove, which was the coolest place either of us had ever been. Seriously. I highly recommend it.
The second day we went to Sea World, which was somewhere both of us had always wanted to go. It was stormy and cold all day there, so all of the rides were shut down. That wasn’t such a big deal, though—we can ride rollercoasters anywhere. We ran through the rain from exhibit to exhibit to see the animals, usually avoiding the ones that weren’t under cover.
Other than that, we took a few long walks along the beach, spent a lot of time reading, and went to a lot of delicious restaurants. Our goal was to go to non-chain restaurants only, which we followed pretty well, except for the Wendy’s where we stopped on the way to our condo from the airport our first day there. Overall, it was wonderful to spend a vacation together, away from all the stress we had been under for so long before the wedding.
When we got home, it was time to “settle down.” Daniel still had stuff that needed to be moved from his parents’ house, so we made a couple of trips back and forth from there. We still have some remodeling to do in our bedroom and bathroom so that two people can live in them comfortably. What seems most important right now: There’s not currently enough storage space for everything we’re trying to cram into that room (not that it was much better when it was just me in there). There have also been wedding gifts to put away, a new dishwasher to install, and a new tractor to buy since we’ve been home. Daniel’s car has had to be towed twice in the last month (it’s getting old). So we’ve been busy. Regardless of what we’re doing, it’s exciting to get into new routines now that we’re living together!
We got our photo discs back from our photographer a couple of weeks ago, some of which you have seen. He did such a great job! We’re presently in the process of choosing pictures to have him print for an album, and then we can choose larger prints for all of the new frames we received as gifts! Definitely a fun project. Speaking of frames, we were also given an apostolic blessing from the Vatican by my bosses, which we still need to have framed so it can be hung on our wall. It is so beautiful and special.
One thing that I’ve had to deal with that I hadn’t really considered before the wedding was what I’ll call “post-wedding depression” for lack of a better term. During the wedding planning process, I know that I really tried to put my focus in the right place: on the sacrament, and the marriage that only begins on the wedding day.
But it’s still hard to escape the fact that most girls start thinking about their wedding day as soon as they’re old enough to know what a wedding is, and I was certainly no exception, dressing up as a bride just for fun as a little girl, playing “wedding” with my Barbies, and reading the newspaper’s annual wedding guide section from cover to cover every year in high school. Plus, to have spent the last two years thinking about and planning for that specific day, May 16, 2009—let’s just say that having it behind me was, for the first few weeks, the biggest morning-after-Christmas feeling ever. I’m sure you all know what I mean by that.
Luckily, though, I think that having at least tried to put my focus in the right place during marriage preparation has helped. The “post-wedding depression” has almost completely cleared up now. It has also been comforting and exciting to think about not only marriage, but also the wedding as a foretaste of Heaven. Having experienced my own wedding Mass and reception, being completely full of joy and celebrating with everyone that I love, I think I can really appreciate the analogy of Heaven as being “the wedding feast of the Lamb.” It’s hard to imagine anything happier than my wedding day—to think that Heaven will be exponentially better is incredible. It really gives a person something to look forward to; and that wedding feast will never end!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Weekend Wedding - Part 5
Being introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Hammond to a room full of everyone we love was an amazing experience. The deejay played instrumental music that made it sound like we had just won a game show or something, but in a good way. We walked through the door, grinning brightly. The room looked even more beautiful than I had imagined it. Everyone cheered, lots of people standing up from their seats. We made our way through the tables to the head table, which was a round table like the others, but right in the center of the room under the biggest chandelier.
We sat down with our parents to wait for the food—a brunch buffet was set up along one wall of the room, but in the meantime there was a fruit and pastry table open, plus the coffee and tea station. My mom went to get me a cup of coffee, which I was very happy to drink. I was starving, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat much of anything when the time came, either because of the excitement or because I’m a slow eater and would spend most of the mealtime talking.
I was right about that; the lady in charge of catering served our table rather than having us go up to the buffet like everyone else, and my plate was absolutely loaded with a wide variety of everything that was being served. I ended up swallowing just a couple of bites of a ham and cheese omelet, and I think one small slice of Canadian bacon. I did have another cup of coffee after the first, so at least I had my caffeine!
After everyone had eaten, the deejay announced the toasts; Daniel’s brother John, the best man, would be giving one. And although my sister Marie, maid of honor, had originally told me she didn’t want to do a toast because she would be too nervous, she changed her mind while we were at the reception and wrote a speech on her napkin. Marie started to give her toast first, but John took over when she couldn’t stop crying. His speech was very nice; he had everyone laughing but it was also very sweet. Marie tried again, struggling not to cry, with the people around encouraging her. My mom thought Marie just wanted a hug of encouragement when she walked over to our table a sentence or so into her speech. We were all surprised though when, amid many “aww”s, Marie handed my mom the napkin and cried, “Can you do it?”
“What makes you think I won’t cry?” my mom replied, somewhat laughing. So my mom ended up reading Marie’s speech with Marie sitting beside her, listening and crying. It was fairly simple, but beautiful. We toasted with champagne mimosas.
The last piece of the day that I was really nervous about immediately followed the toasts: the first dance, and then the father-daughter dance. But I shouldn’t have worried; Daniel and I were perfectly comfortable, as though we weren’t actually in front of all those people. We sang to each other, along with Steven Curtis Chapman as we twirled, dipped, and attempted to waltz (that part didn’t work out so well). But it was so much fun!
After the two special dances, Daniel and I went around to say hello to every table. I was worried that once we had gotten to everyone, we would have no time to dance any more at all. But we ended up talking to and hugging everyone with time to spare! We cut the cake, took some pictures out in the hall, I tossed the bouquet (which took two tries, since my first toss hit the ceiling) and danced to “Chicken Fried,” “Then,” and “Save the Last Dance for Me” (which, as you may have guessed, was the last dance). By that point, most of the room had cleared out. Daniel and I left to go to our hotel room, which was on the premises since we got a free night in a suite with our reception. I stood in front of the full-length mirror there in my wedding dress and finally started to cry.
I couldn’t believe that the wedding was over. We were married. Really married. All of the emotion of the past several weeks/months came crashing down on me then. Good and bad. I just had never experienced an emotional roller coaster of those proportions before. I imagine having our first child may be somewhat similar…
Once I had calmed down and realized how incredibly starving I was, we went out for dinner at a little Italian restaurant nearby. Of course we changed, but I kept my wedding jewelry on—I wasn’t ready to completely de-bride myself yet. Actually, I wore the jewelry to church the next morning, too!
While we were eating dinner, I couldn’t help but think about how everyone had told us to remember that no matter what, at the end of the day we would be married. Well, it was the end of the day. And we were!
We sat down with our parents to wait for the food—a brunch buffet was set up along one wall of the room, but in the meantime there was a fruit and pastry table open, plus the coffee and tea station. My mom went to get me a cup of coffee, which I was very happy to drink. I was starving, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat much of anything when the time came, either because of the excitement or because I’m a slow eater and would spend most of the mealtime talking.
I was right about that; the lady in charge of catering served our table rather than having us go up to the buffet like everyone else, and my plate was absolutely loaded with a wide variety of everything that was being served. I ended up swallowing just a couple of bites of a ham and cheese omelet, and I think one small slice of Canadian bacon. I did have another cup of coffee after the first, so at least I had my caffeine!
After everyone had eaten, the deejay announced the toasts; Daniel’s brother John, the best man, would be giving one. And although my sister Marie, maid of honor, had originally told me she didn’t want to do a toast because she would be too nervous, she changed her mind while we were at the reception and wrote a speech on her napkin. Marie started to give her toast first, but John took over when she couldn’t stop crying. His speech was very nice; he had everyone laughing but it was also very sweet. Marie tried again, struggling not to cry, with the people around encouraging her. My mom thought Marie just wanted a hug of encouragement when she walked over to our table a sentence or so into her speech. We were all surprised though when, amid many “aww”s, Marie handed my mom the napkin and cried, “Can you do it?”
“What makes you think I won’t cry?” my mom replied, somewhat laughing. So my mom ended up reading Marie’s speech with Marie sitting beside her, listening and crying. It was fairly simple, but beautiful. We toasted with champagne mimosas.
The last piece of the day that I was really nervous about immediately followed the toasts: the first dance, and then the father-daughter dance. But I shouldn’t have worried; Daniel and I were perfectly comfortable, as though we weren’t actually in front of all those people. We sang to each other, along with Steven Curtis Chapman as we twirled, dipped, and attempted to waltz (that part didn’t work out so well). But it was so much fun!
After the two special dances, Daniel and I went around to say hello to every table. I was worried that once we had gotten to everyone, we would have no time to dance any more at all. But we ended up talking to and hugging everyone with time to spare! We cut the cake, took some pictures out in the hall, I tossed the bouquet (which took two tries, since my first toss hit the ceiling) and danced to “Chicken Fried,” “Then,” and “Save the Last Dance for Me” (which, as you may have guessed, was the last dance). By that point, most of the room had cleared out. Daniel and I left to go to our hotel room, which was on the premises since we got a free night in a suite with our reception. I stood in front of the full-length mirror there in my wedding dress and finally started to cry.
I couldn’t believe that the wedding was over. We were married. Really married. All of the emotion of the past several weeks/months came crashing down on me then. Good and bad. I just had never experienced an emotional roller coaster of those proportions before. I imagine having our first child may be somewhat similar…
Once I had calmed down and realized how incredibly starving I was, we went out for dinner at a little Italian restaurant nearby. Of course we changed, but I kept my wedding jewelry on—I wasn’t ready to completely de-bride myself yet. Actually, I wore the jewelry to church the next morning, too!
While we were eating dinner, I couldn’t help but think about how everyone had told us to remember that no matter what, at the end of the day we would be married. Well, it was the end of the day. And we were!
Friday, June 19, 2009
Wedding Weekend: Part 4
Our wedding Mass was beautiful. My nervousness didn’t entirely disappear, but it definitely got easier as soon as I took Daniel’s hand to walk to our seats. I had been worried that I would be too anxious to pay attention and pray during the liturgy, but that didn’t end up being a problem at all. I was able to stay focused and prayerful the entire time. And I remember every detail of the ceremony—I heard the organ music, sang along with every song, smelled the incense, and caught the eyes of several people in the crowd to exchange smiles.
The (small) bad part was that I was extremely warm throughout the whole thing, taking sips every so often from the water bottle Caroline had stowed beneath my chair before the ceremony and fanning myself with my program almost the entire time. I was afraid that I would faint; luckily, I didn’t!
My Aunt Alli read the first reading (from Genesis 2) and Daniel’s cousin Mary read the second (Colossians 3). They both did a beautiful job. The Gospel reading was from Matthew chapter 7, about the wise man who built his house upon the rock, which we just love (well, obviously we love it—we’re the ones that chose the readings!).
When we said our vows during the Rite of Marriage, I had absolutely no problem either remembering the words or projecting them so that everyone could hear me. And I will never forget the look of love on Daniel’s face as he spoke those words to me, too: “I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”
We had a little bit more trouble with the rings. First, we couldn’t get them off the pillow easily at all because the ribbon bow had turned into a knot. Then I really had to push, with both hands, to get Daniel’s ring over his knuckle. Now that it’s on there, it definitely isn’t going to be coming off without a fight—and that is perfectly fine with me. I love seeing that ring on his finger!
Everyone was smiling. Everyone was happy. Cameras flashed. The Mass continued, and Daniel and I received the Eucharist for the first time together as man and wife. The liturgy ended with the lovely Nuptial Blessing that Caroline and Leeanna posted for you last month, and just like that, I got a new name! Actually, not “just like that” at all—it’s taken me the whole month to get most of my name-change stuff finished. I only made it to the MVA to get my new license this past Wednesday! But I heard Father Rick say, “Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Hammond,” and then Daniel was kissing me. It was pure and simple bliss.
I forgot to take my bouquet from Marie when Daniel and I walked back down the aisle at the end of the blessing, which made me feel funny because I had nothing to do with the hand that Daniel wasn’t holding. But I’m laughing about it in all the pictures.
After hugs all around in the sacristy while the rest of our guests made their way to their cars, we took pictures with our immediate families and the bridal party in front of the altar before leaving for the reception. My cheeks were killing me, but in a different place than they ever had before as a result of having to smile for lots of cameras. The pain was more directly under my eyes, in the muscle covering my cheekbones, whereas in the past (high school and college dances and graduations, etc.) it had hurt closer to my mouth. I guess that is because I was more genuinely happy than I had ever been before!
On the way to the reception, with Daniel driving my Dad’s car since it is nicer than either of ours, I discovered that I am rather a fan of riding down the highway in a white dress and veil and having everyone who passes us do a double-take, pointing out to their own passengers the bride and groom in the other lane. It’s such a silly thing, I guess, but I’ll admit that it made me feel a little bit like royalty. In the meantime Daniel and I were so busy laughing together, reveling in the fact that we were really and truly married, that we missed our exit. The next exit wasn’t for several miles, so we lost at least ten minutes just turning around and backtracking to find our way.
We made it to the resort eventually, of course, and stood in the hall with our bridal party waiting to be “presented” to all of our family and friends in the banquet room.
Now, I’m going to pick up at the beginning of the reception next week for a several reasons: 1) Because I know how much you all love the anticipation, 2) To avoid my word count going way over my usual entry, 3) Because I am getting very tired and want to go to bed, and 4) So that I can enjoy reminiscing about my wedding day for yet another week!
The (small) bad part was that I was extremely warm throughout the whole thing, taking sips every so often from the water bottle Caroline had stowed beneath my chair before the ceremony and fanning myself with my program almost the entire time. I was afraid that I would faint; luckily, I didn’t!
My Aunt Alli read the first reading (from Genesis 2) and Daniel’s cousin Mary read the second (Colossians 3). They both did a beautiful job. The Gospel reading was from Matthew chapter 7, about the wise man who built his house upon the rock, which we just love (well, obviously we love it—we’re the ones that chose the readings!).
When we said our vows during the Rite of Marriage, I had absolutely no problem either remembering the words or projecting them so that everyone could hear me. And I will never forget the look of love on Daniel’s face as he spoke those words to me, too: “I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”
We had a little bit more trouble with the rings. First, we couldn’t get them off the pillow easily at all because the ribbon bow had turned into a knot. Then I really had to push, with both hands, to get Daniel’s ring over his knuckle. Now that it’s on there, it definitely isn’t going to be coming off without a fight—and that is perfectly fine with me. I love seeing that ring on his finger!
Everyone was smiling. Everyone was happy. Cameras flashed. The Mass continued, and Daniel and I received the Eucharist for the first time together as man and wife. The liturgy ended with the lovely Nuptial Blessing that Caroline and Leeanna posted for you last month, and just like that, I got a new name! Actually, not “just like that” at all—it’s taken me the whole month to get most of my name-change stuff finished. I only made it to the MVA to get my new license this past Wednesday! But I heard Father Rick say, “Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Hammond,” and then Daniel was kissing me. It was pure and simple bliss.
I forgot to take my bouquet from Marie when Daniel and I walked back down the aisle at the end of the blessing, which made me feel funny because I had nothing to do with the hand that Daniel wasn’t holding. But I’m laughing about it in all the pictures.
After hugs all around in the sacristy while the rest of our guests made their way to their cars, we took pictures with our immediate families and the bridal party in front of the altar before leaving for the reception. My cheeks were killing me, but in a different place than they ever had before as a result of having to smile for lots of cameras. The pain was more directly under my eyes, in the muscle covering my cheekbones, whereas in the past (high school and college dances and graduations, etc.) it had hurt closer to my mouth. I guess that is because I was more genuinely happy than I had ever been before!
On the way to the reception, with Daniel driving my Dad’s car since it is nicer than either of ours, I discovered that I am rather a fan of riding down the highway in a white dress and veil and having everyone who passes us do a double-take, pointing out to their own passengers the bride and groom in the other lane. It’s such a silly thing, I guess, but I’ll admit that it made me feel a little bit like royalty. In the meantime Daniel and I were so busy laughing together, reveling in the fact that we were really and truly married, that we missed our exit. The next exit wasn’t for several miles, so we lost at least ten minutes just turning around and backtracking to find our way.
We made it to the resort eventually, of course, and stood in the hall with our bridal party waiting to be “presented” to all of our family and friends in the banquet room.
Now, I’m going to pick up at the beginning of the reception next week for a several reasons: 1) Because I know how much you all love the anticipation, 2) To avoid my word count going way over my usual entry, 3) Because I am getting very tired and want to go to bed, and 4) So that I can enjoy reminiscing about my wedding day for yet another week!
Friday, June 12, 2009
Wedding Weekend: Part 3, The Big Day!
When the alarm on my cell phone went off at 6:10 on Saturday morning, I sat up immediately and swung my feet to the floor. I didn’t hit snooze at all, which was a surprise to both me and my friends even though it was my wedding day.
I showered, brushed my teeth, and put on capris, flip-flops, and a button-up shirt that I would be able to change out of without ruining my up-do. With a Quaker breakfast cookie and a cup of chamomile tea from the hotel’s continental breakfast in hand, I rode to the hair salon for our 7:30 appointment; all but two of my bridesmaids were getting their hair done there. And since I had already had my hair consultation two weeks prior, I knew exactly what I wanted and the lady was able to get started right away. The food I forced myself to eat while she was working tasted so dry—stupid nerves. The butterflies in my stomach were stronger than ever.
Luckily, I guess, having a morning wedding meant that I didn’t have to spend all day being nervous. There wasn’t time for that. By the time my beautiful up-do was finished it was already after 9:00, and we planned on leaving the hotel by 10:15.
While Marie and Laura were still having their styles done, the rest of us rushed back to do our makeup, get dressed, and pack up our bags. I did my own makeup, which took me about fifteen or twenty minutes, and got dressed with the help of my bridesmaids. Once every detail was in place, I felt like a princess… but there wasn’t time to stand around feeling beautiful, either, so we grabbed our bags and hurried out to the cars again.
When we arrived on campus, the parking situation was horrible because of the fire department picnic going on that day. We had to park in the grass next to the chapel, and a few raindrops were beginning to fall. As I was unbuckling my seatbelt, horror of horrors, I looked down and noticed that the chain of my necklace was broken! That put me over the edge, and I started to flip out.
With my necklace hanging in two pieces from my neck, I made it into the vestibule on the right side of the chapel that was serving as the bride’s room. My cousin and bridesmaid, Maria, went into the sanctuary to bring back her sister, my cousin Catherine. She is the one that made my jewelry for the wedding, and that wonderful girl even thought to bring her tools with her to the wedding just in case! So she took my necklace out to her parents’ car to fix it and had it back, good as new, in less than five minutes. Crisis averted.
I saw my parents, all of my siblings, and a couple of aunts while I waited in the bride’s room. Caroline had left to fulfill her groomsmaidenly duty of ushering with the boys, but of course my bridesmaids stayed with me. Our photographer took some pictures. And the figurative clock kept ticking (there was no clock that I could see, so I had no idea how quickly time was passing). When someone announced that it was around five minutes to 11:00, my bridesmaid Michelle suggested that we pray a Hail Mary. I’m so glad she did; I had been thinking during the drive from the hotel that when we got to the church I would pray a whole bunch of Hail Mary’s to calm myself down, but since we had arrived I had completely forgotten. So, my bridesmaids and I stood in a circle, joined hands, and prayed. I can’t say that my nervousness instantly disappeared, or anything like that, but I did feel better knowing that I had at least looked in the right direction before I walked up the aisle to my beloved.
The next thing I knew, the girls were all lining up in the back of the church, with my Dad and me in the rear. The organ processional began and I caught a glimpse of Daniel as his brother walked him up the aisle, but it was not until everyone else had gone and my dad and I were the only ones remaining in the back that I could look up and really see him. I told myself as we started moving forward that I was just going to look at Daniel the whole way up; if I looked around at everyone who loves me staring at me and smiling, I would be too overwhelmed and I knew I would cry. I think I did tear up, but only a little. I just kept looking at my very, very soon-to-be husband and smiled (a very nervous, non-toothy smile, but still a smile).
And I’m really sorry, I honestly did not expect to have to drag this wedding story on for another week… but I’m going to! To be continued yet again… be sure to take a look at our wedding photo album!
I showered, brushed my teeth, and put on capris, flip-flops, and a button-up shirt that I would be able to change out of without ruining my up-do. With a Quaker breakfast cookie and a cup of chamomile tea from the hotel’s continental breakfast in hand, I rode to the hair salon for our 7:30 appointment; all but two of my bridesmaids were getting their hair done there. And since I had already had my hair consultation two weeks prior, I knew exactly what I wanted and the lady was able to get started right away. The food I forced myself to eat while she was working tasted so dry—stupid nerves. The butterflies in my stomach were stronger than ever.
Luckily, I guess, having a morning wedding meant that I didn’t have to spend all day being nervous. There wasn’t time for that. By the time my beautiful up-do was finished it was already after 9:00, and we planned on leaving the hotel by 10:15.
While Marie and Laura were still having their styles done, the rest of us rushed back to do our makeup, get dressed, and pack up our bags. I did my own makeup, which took me about fifteen or twenty minutes, and got dressed with the help of my bridesmaids. Once every detail was in place, I felt like a princess… but there wasn’t time to stand around feeling beautiful, either, so we grabbed our bags and hurried out to the cars again.
When we arrived on campus, the parking situation was horrible because of the fire department picnic going on that day. We had to park in the grass next to the chapel, and a few raindrops were beginning to fall. As I was unbuckling my seatbelt, horror of horrors, I looked down and noticed that the chain of my necklace was broken! That put me over the edge, and I started to flip out.
With my necklace hanging in two pieces from my neck, I made it into the vestibule on the right side of the chapel that was serving as the bride’s room. My cousin and bridesmaid, Maria, went into the sanctuary to bring back her sister, my cousin Catherine. She is the one that made my jewelry for the wedding, and that wonderful girl even thought to bring her tools with her to the wedding just in case! So she took my necklace out to her parents’ car to fix it and had it back, good as new, in less than five minutes. Crisis averted.
I saw my parents, all of my siblings, and a couple of aunts while I waited in the bride’s room. Caroline had left to fulfill her groomsmaidenly duty of ushering with the boys, but of course my bridesmaids stayed with me. Our photographer took some pictures. And the figurative clock kept ticking (there was no clock that I could see, so I had no idea how quickly time was passing). When someone announced that it was around five minutes to 11:00, my bridesmaid Michelle suggested that we pray a Hail Mary. I’m so glad she did; I had been thinking during the drive from the hotel that when we got to the church I would pray a whole bunch of Hail Mary’s to calm myself down, but since we had arrived I had completely forgotten. So, my bridesmaids and I stood in a circle, joined hands, and prayed. I can’t say that my nervousness instantly disappeared, or anything like that, but I did feel better knowing that I had at least looked in the right direction before I walked up the aisle to my beloved.
The next thing I knew, the girls were all lining up in the back of the church, with my Dad and me in the rear. The organ processional began and I caught a glimpse of Daniel as his brother walked him up the aisle, but it was not until everyone else had gone and my dad and I were the only ones remaining in the back that I could look up and really see him. I told myself as we started moving forward that I was just going to look at Daniel the whole way up; if I looked around at everyone who loves me staring at me and smiling, I would be too overwhelmed and I knew I would cry. I think I did tear up, but only a little. I just kept looking at my very, very soon-to-be husband and smiled (a very nervous, non-toothy smile, but still a smile).
And I’m really sorry, I honestly did not expect to have to drag this wedding story on for another week… but I’m going to! To be continued yet again… be sure to take a look at our wedding photo album!
Friday, June 5, 2009
Wedding Weekend: Part 2
Just to let you know since some of you are wondering, there is going to be a wedding photo album posted on here very soon—I think by this time next week. Daniel and I are anxiously awaiting the photographer’s pictures ourselves! As for today, I hope none of you are bored by the fact that this entry is mainly going to be a list of events, but I’m picking up where I left off.
Caroline, Nicole, Marie, Daniel, his brother, and I got to the reception hall around 2:30 to start decorating. Another bridesmaid, Michelle, met us up there, as did my Mom and my Aunt Alli. We spent a little over two hours moving tables, assembling centerpieces, and arranging the personalized favors on a table by the door (which would also serve as a way of directing guests to their assigned seats). When we were finished, the room looked perfectly beautiful.
By that time we were in somewhat of a rush to get to the chapel, where the rehearsal was scheduled to begin at five. When we arrived on campus, we discovered that the big field right next to the chapel was all set up with party tents, grills, and loudspeakers. Apparently the local fire department was having their big “spring fling” picnic right there all day on Saturday, and no one in campus ministry was told about it until a few days before—therefore, we also were not told. Naturally, I was a little bit… shall we say, worried? That sounds like a nice way of putting it. I will leave it up to your own vivid imaginations to envision how I was feeling in my night-before-my-wedding stressed state. But I tried to put that worry away; there was nothing that could be done about the situation, and I had enough to be thinking about.
The rehearsal went well, as straightforward as rehearsals go. We had one run-through. I carried the ribbon bouquet made by my bridesmaids at my shower. Next came the rehearsal dinner, which was casual. We reserved the party room at the local Pizza Hut and ate their new pasta dishes, which were pretty good although I didn’t have much of an appetite. As the meal came to an end, I was really getting close to tears. In a few minutes, Daniel and I would be parting ways and I wouldn’t see him again until I was walking down the aisle. And that was extremely scary.
I hugged my family as I was leaving (except for Marie, since she was my maid of honor and would of course be staying with me for the rest of the night). I kissed Daniel good-bye. My bridesmaids and groomsmaid ushered me out the door and across the parking lot to the store, where we picked up two bottles of wine to drink at the hotel. Everything felt so strange, as though I was someone else. The ball was already rolling, but in those minutes after I watched Daniel drive away, I wanted so much to stop it.
When one of my bridesmaids asked how I was, all I knew to say was, “I’m just not feeling very favorable towards weddings right now.” Which was true. I knew that I wanted to be married to Daniel more than anything in the world. And I wanted the Sacrament. I just didn’t feel like I wanted the wedding. It was just too out-of-the-ordinary, too disconnected from my everyday life. I wasn’t just Sarah, the girl I had been my whole life. At least that’s how I felt. I was “the bride.” The disconnect was too large for comfort. The different-ness from my normal day-to-day world was somewhat, for lack of a better word, painful. I don’t really know how to explain how I was feeling.
But my friends took care of me. Almost as soon as we got to the hotel I felt more relaxed. I received a couple of gifts, gave the girls their jewelry for the next day, had a glass of wine, and talked for a few hours. Brushed and flossed my teeth, washed my face, laid out everything I needed for the next morning, set my alarm for 6:10 (our hair appointments were for 7:30) I shared a bed with Marie, the sister with whom I shared a bedroom for eight years of my life, and my cousin Maria and friend Laura slept in the other bed in the room. This was my last night as a single girl/woman. It took me a little while to drift off, but once I did, I got more sleep, and better sleep, than I had any night for weeks before that.
I warned you I might do this again—to be continued! Tune in for part three.
Caroline, Nicole, Marie, Daniel, his brother, and I got to the reception hall around 2:30 to start decorating. Another bridesmaid, Michelle, met us up there, as did my Mom and my Aunt Alli. We spent a little over two hours moving tables, assembling centerpieces, and arranging the personalized favors on a table by the door (which would also serve as a way of directing guests to their assigned seats). When we were finished, the room looked perfectly beautiful.
By that time we were in somewhat of a rush to get to the chapel, where the rehearsal was scheduled to begin at five. When we arrived on campus, we discovered that the big field right next to the chapel was all set up with party tents, grills, and loudspeakers. Apparently the local fire department was having their big “spring fling” picnic right there all day on Saturday, and no one in campus ministry was told about it until a few days before—therefore, we also were not told. Naturally, I was a little bit… shall we say, worried? That sounds like a nice way of putting it. I will leave it up to your own vivid imaginations to envision how I was feeling in my night-before-my-wedding stressed state. But I tried to put that worry away; there was nothing that could be done about the situation, and I had enough to be thinking about.
The rehearsal went well, as straightforward as rehearsals go. We had one run-through. I carried the ribbon bouquet made by my bridesmaids at my shower. Next came the rehearsal dinner, which was casual. We reserved the party room at the local Pizza Hut and ate their new pasta dishes, which were pretty good although I didn’t have much of an appetite. As the meal came to an end, I was really getting close to tears. In a few minutes, Daniel and I would be parting ways and I wouldn’t see him again until I was walking down the aisle. And that was extremely scary.
I hugged my family as I was leaving (except for Marie, since she was my maid of honor and would of course be staying with me for the rest of the night). I kissed Daniel good-bye. My bridesmaids and groomsmaid ushered me out the door and across the parking lot to the store, where we picked up two bottles of wine to drink at the hotel. Everything felt so strange, as though I was someone else. The ball was already rolling, but in those minutes after I watched Daniel drive away, I wanted so much to stop it.
When one of my bridesmaids asked how I was, all I knew to say was, “I’m just not feeling very favorable towards weddings right now.” Which was true. I knew that I wanted to be married to Daniel more than anything in the world. And I wanted the Sacrament. I just didn’t feel like I wanted the wedding. It was just too out-of-the-ordinary, too disconnected from my everyday life. I wasn’t just Sarah, the girl I had been my whole life. At least that’s how I felt. I was “the bride.” The disconnect was too large for comfort. The different-ness from my normal day-to-day world was somewhat, for lack of a better word, painful. I don’t really know how to explain how I was feeling.
But my friends took care of me. Almost as soon as we got to the hotel I felt more relaxed. I received a couple of gifts, gave the girls their jewelry for the next day, had a glass of wine, and talked for a few hours. Brushed and flossed my teeth, washed my face, laid out everything I needed for the next morning, set my alarm for 6:10 (our hair appointments were for 7:30) I shared a bed with Marie, the sister with whom I shared a bedroom for eight years of my life, and my cousin Maria and friend Laura slept in the other bed in the room. This was my last night as a single girl/woman. It took me a little while to drift off, but once I did, I got more sleep, and better sleep, than I had any night for weeks before that.
I warned you I might do this again—to be continued! Tune in for part three.
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