A Different Kind of October

In trying to think of something to write about this week, I was looking back to my blog entries from this time last year and realizing how different my day-to-day life is from then. From the last week of October 2009 specifically. I wrote that I was feeling like Bilbo Baggins when he told Frodo that he felt “like a pat of butter spread over too much bread.” I am busy right now, although in a very different way than I was at this time last year, and I remember the feeling that I was describing very well. On top of it all, I was pregnant and not yet telling anyone. I am so glad that I’m not that pat of butter anymore!

Charlie’s learning so many new things lately. On Sunday he figured out how to stick his tongue out and apparently finds it really fun, because he keeps doing it. It’s so cute!

He also rolled over for the first time yesterday, and I didn’t even see it! I had just put him down on the floor with some toys and then turned to sit at the computer. When I turned around thirty seconds later, he had rolled from his tummy to his back. I can’t believe how fast he is growing! Soon he’ll be moving around our home on his own, and I’m beginning to worry about the state of our house as far as baby safety goes, as well as the cleanliness of our floors… let’s just say that the vacuum scares Charlie while he’s awake, and I obviously don’t want to wake him when he’s taking a nap. And this whole postpartum hair loss thing that’s making me shed all over the place isn’t helping matters either. In other words, the carpets are not at their best! At least the broom is quiet so that I’ve been able to keep the hard floors crumb and dust-free. For the most part, anyway.

Also this week, I took Charlie to his four month checkup. He had to get two more shots, and as much as I have always hated getting shots, it is even worse to watch my son get them. His appointment was on Tuesday, and I was so nervous about it all weekend. I hate seeing my baby in pain. At least the pain never lasts longer than a few minutes with shots, and Charlie calmed down much faster than he did at his two month appointment. I just can’t wait until he’s older so that I can buy him a milkshake on the way home.

My little family attended yet another wedding last weekend, this one for a friend from college, in the same chapel that Daniel and I had our wedding last year. As far as I know, we shouldn’t have any more weddings to attend for a while, which is a good thing. As much as I love weddings, five weddings in one year is plenty.

We have no big plans for this weekend, thank goodness. Our house is an absolute wreck, so I’m hoping to spend a good chunk of time cleaning and getting some of the stuff on my super-long to-do list done. You know me and to-do lists, though! We’ll see…

Living for Today

Daniel and I had my sisters Jane (15) and Annie (12) over to babysit last Saturday night after Charlie went to bed. At least, that was the plan. Charlie usually might wake up and cry once or twice after we’ve laid him down, but all it takes is for one of us to go in and either hold his hands or gently rock his cradle and he falls back asleep. That is what we told my sisters when we left, which was at 7:30, right after I had put him to bed.

Apparently, though, Charlie could sense that the person rocking his cradle was not Daniel or me. Jane ended up picking him up and taking him out to the living room with her because he just wouldn’t go back to sleep. I told her to take him back when he started to act sleepy, but that never happened; Charlie was still wide awake when we got home from our friends’ housewarming party at 9:30. Of course, I fed him again and laid him down as soon as I walked in the door, and he was out like a light.

So the “easy” babysitting job for my sisters didn’t quite work out like any of us had hoped.

On another subject, I feel like I am being kept so busy taking care of Charlie that I am beginning to wonder how in the world I am going to manage taking care of multiple kids at once someday in the not too distant future. As the oldest in a family of seven children, I have seen it done. But I am really becoming concerned as to how I am going to manage it. My mom is much more competent than I am—she is much better at juggling multiple things without getting distracted and wasting time, and she’s much better at seeing something that needs to be done and doing it right away rather than procrastinating. Maybe that’s just something that will come with time, and once I have to be taking care of two or three kids all at once I will get the hang of it…

Speaking of the future, I am realizing how very much Daniel and I have a tendency to spend a lot of time dreaming about “someday” and planning for things that we are nowhere near being able to do right now—financially speaking at least. A couple of years ago we were so anxious to get married and live together, and I guess I thought that once that happened that would be enough for me to learn to be patient. But now we are constantly talking about plans for our new house and how we can possibly be able to afford to build it, looking at bigger cars for when we will need to carry more carseats around, and dreaming about vacations we want to go on when Charlie is older, etc.

We also look to the past and ask ourselves whether we made the right decision in buying the land and house that we did, etc. Of course, if we hadn’t done things the way we did, a whole lot of things in our lives would be different. We might not even have Charlie. So obviously things happened the way they were supposed to happen… but does that necessarily mean that the decision we made two years ago was supposed to be a permanent decision? Should we try to sell our land and buy a smaller piece of property so that we can afford a bigger house sooner? And then we look out our living room window at the rolling hills and the pond and the horses across the street and we fall in love all over again. With the land I mean. :)

Sigh.

Oh well. We are really trying to remind ourselves that we need to live in the present and trust in God’s plan for our lives from this point forward, whatever it might be. So, I will end with a song by Natalie Grant. Thanks for keeping up with my stream of consciousness!

“You told me not to worry
About what lies ahead
So I am gonna focus on today instead
Making every moment count and counting
Every single blessing
I'm gonna set my mind on the
Here and the Now
This is what I want my life to be about
And this is How...

I'm gonna live for today
I'm gonna follow in your way
I'm gonna let my little light shine
Like there's no tomorrow
I won't worry about the past
I know my future is intact
So I'll choose to live my life one way
I'm gonna live it for today.”

Writer's Block

I have a very bad case of writer’s block right now, so you’re not going to get anything especially witty or inspiring from me today. Not that I am claiming to be witty or inspiring ever, although I do try sometimes… but today I’ve got nothing.

Last Saturday, Daniel, Charlie, and I attended yet another wedding. Not that I’m complaining; I love weddings and I love the beautiful new married couple, Charlie’s godparents Mike and Leanna. You may remember Leanna as the guest coauthor of the entry written the week after my wedding last year, along with Caroline. Caroline was with us on Saturday, and was actually Charlie’s “date” for the wedding! Anyway, the ceremony and reception were both lovely and we are so very happy for Mike and Leanna.

…Seriously, I am really struggling here. Nothing much new is going on; Charlie is growing like crazy and I’m starting to wonder where my little baby is going. I know that’s pathetic, considering he’s only four months old, but still. He’s “talking”, laughing, sitting up with a little help, and actually enjoying playing on his tummy on the floor. Every morning when he wakes up, he kicks and waves his arms all around, squealing with a huge grin on his face at the prospect of a brand new day. I didn’t think anything could ever turn me into an early morning person, but Charlie is doing it.

Okay, that might be a bit of a stretch, but it certainly is difficult to be grumpy, even at six in the morning, when you’re looking at such an adorable face that is clearly so happy to see you. Daniel shifted his work hours last week so that he can have an extra half an hour here in the morning while Charlie is in such a good mood and ready to play. He gets really cranky in the evening when it gets close to his bedtime, which is right around seven. But my goodness, during the day when he is happy and playful… I love my job!

Charlie puts on Christ!

Sunday was a perfectly lovely day, with Charlie baptized during noon mass at our parish by the same priest that officiated at our wedding (which we didn’t know about beforehand, so it was a nice surprise) and a reception with our family and close friends in the church social hall afterwards.

Charlie was very well-behaved for all of mass, which we had been a little worried about since we would be sitting in the very front row. For the first couple of weeks after he was born, we sat in what is called the “growing room” during mass. I’m sure most of you probably have something similar at your own parishes; ours is a small room behind a glass wall at the back of the church. There are speakers so that people with small children can sit back there and still hear what is going on, but the few times that Daniel and I sat back there with Charlie were more than enough for us. We found it very difficult to focus on and participate in the liturgy from that room. Since then, we have been sitting along the back wall in the church itself so that we have an easy exit for emergency diaper changes, etc. Anyways, to get back on track, we were very happy that we didn’t even need an easy exit for the entire mass because Charlie was so quiet and seemed to keep his diaper clean! He did spit up on his godmother twice, though, but spitting up is never something to make HIM upset…

He was a little fussy while we were standing up there and the water was poured over his head, but nothing major at all. It was so wonderful for Daniel and me to bring our child to the Church for his first sacrament, and we are so excited to teach him all about our faith so that he can love the Lord as he grows!

As it happens, Sunday’s reception was also the first party that Daniel and I have hosted. Of course, we couldn’t have it at home because our house would never hold fifty people. It went very well, in that I think everyone had a good time, we had a good amount of food as far as I could tell, and the cake was delicious (Costco cakes always are, in my opinion).

This weekend we have a relative break from all of the events that have been going on this past month, which should be refreshing. We hope to visit two sets of grandparents, my dad’s parents on Saturday and Daniel’s dad’s parents on Sunday, although we haven’t actually made any official plans yet. Without going into detail, I would like to ask for prayers for my grandmother, who is not doing very well health-wise. If you don’t mind, please say a prayer for her.

Speaking of prayer, thank you to those of you who prayed for Charlie on his baptism; it was such a special day and is now a treasured memory! And thank you to those family and friends reading this that were there to help welcome our son into our Christian family.

“Charles Edward, you have put on Christ; in Him you have been baptized. Alleluia, Alleluia!”

Fighting for Life

Last week Daniel and I were asked to be the pro-life chaircouple for our parish’s Knights of Columbus council, and we accepted the position. Obviously Daniel is the one who is a Knight, not me, but they usually choose a couple for this particular chair position, and the fact that we are young and have a baby made us appealing to the Grand Knight. Anyway, I’m really excited about this because the abortion issue is something I have always been really passionate about. Of course, being pro-life is about more than just abortion, but I believe that the right to life is the pre-eminent moral issue of our time.

I had Charlie’s ultrasound images (I had four of them during my pregnancy) spread out on my bed yesterday and was getting all sentimental. It breaks my heart that an unborn child in this country is legally only considered a person if he or she is wanted. And at the abortion clinic in my town, during open hours, one baby is killed every hour.

Daniel and I already have a list of pro-life activity ideas for our parish, and I can’t wait to get started.

I’m sure many of you have heard about the 40 Days for Life program taking place all across the nation. It began on September 22 and is the sixth campaign since 2007. Please join in fervently praying for an end to abortion everywhere. According to the 40 Days for Life website, “Reports document 2,811 lives that have been spared from abortion — and those are just the ones we know about.” That is awesome! Prayer changes things. Get involved—fight for life. Visit http://www.40daysforlife.com for more information.

Also, please pray for Charlie this weekend; he is being baptized on Sunday during noon mass!

Adventuring

I was that lady this week, for the first time ever. The lady with the crying baby and a gazillion coupons in the grocery store checkout line.

Thankfully it was around one o’clock on a Wednesday afternoon, so the store was almost empty, and I didn’t receive any of the dirty looks that I have heard other women complain of in the past. In fact, the woman behind me in line was jingling her keys in an attempt to cheer Charlie up—a very kind effort, but one which served only to make him (if possible) angrier. The cashier, too, very nicely stepped around the counter to rescue one of my coupons that fluttered to the ground beneath my cart. Passersby looked on in sympathy rather than annoyance, thank goodness.

Apparently poor Charlie was sleepy and just couldn’t manage to drift off in the baby carrier. Then, the moment I stepped through the doors and into the bright sunshine that caused Charlie to pinch his eyes shut, it was as though he suddenly realized that having his eyes closed felt nice. He was out. Yet another everyday event turned into an adventure by a three-month-old.

Yes, my little boy was three months old yesterday (Thursday)! It’s crazy how fast time is going by. I’m sure this weekend will prove to be an adventure as well, when he will be attending his first wedding (the first of three in the next five weeks). Daniel is a groomsman and will need to be there early, so Saturday really will be an all day affair, plus an hour drive there and an hour drive back. I hope Charlie handles everything well… I also hope that I am seated at the reception somewhere near a door or along a wall for an easy escape route.

Then after Mass on Sunday we are getting together with extended family on my mom’s side to celebrate my Pop-pop’s birthday, and later we’ll need to go shopping for food and supplies for Charlie’s baptism reception which is the following Sunday. I’m crossing my fingers that all of this weekend activity doesn’t throw Charlie all out of whack. We’ll see!

Settling Into Fall

Well, almost. I’m so very glad that it seems to finally be cooling down at least. I’ve had enough of 100 degree weather.

Last Friday I was pleasantly surprised by scrambled eggs, a strawberry banana smoothie, coffee, and chocolate cheerios (yum!) in bed. Okay, part of that was a lie. It was my birthday, so I was actually expecting it…but that didn’t make it any less pleasant! The only difference from last year was that this time I was already awake, feeding Charlie his own breakfast in bed when Daniel carried the tray in. Charlie gets his breakfast in bed every day, of course.

The rest of the day was wonderful, too, and although I was home with Charlie all day just like I am every day, it was the best birthday ever because he wasn’t around for any of the others!

On Saturday, my little boy got to attend his second bridal shower—actually it was the shower of his soon-to-be godmother, who is getting married on October 9th. I’m so excited for her! And the rest of the weekend was spent with Daniel and his parents working on building a pergola/awning/shade-providing structure on our patio; we’re really not sure what it would technically be called. But we bought a set of furniture to put under it and hung outdoor curtains (they’re actually fabric shower curtain liners, shhh!), and our patio is completely transformed. Now I can take Charlie to hang out in the fresh air. It’s lovely!

I really don’t have too much to say this week. This weekend should be relaxing since we don’t have too much going on—hopefully housecleaning though. I’m anxiously awaiting the arrival of the Ergo baby carrier I ordered last week. Thanks to those who made suggestions! Now, I’m off to wait outside for my sister Rose who just passed her driver’s license test this afternoon and is driving over here all by herself to see Charlie and me. What a wonderful feeling that is—it feels like so long ago!

Take care all!

Pop Goes Perfection

My Wednesday to-do list (which can be found on a 8×12 framed dry erase board that Daniel recently bought for me to make my lists on, since he was getting tired of finding dozens of little scraps of paper with different kinds of lists scattered all around the house—a fair compromise I think):

- Make bed
- Put away clean dishes
- Wash last night’s dinner dishes
- Fold clean white laundry
- Wash darks
- Take out recycling
- Finish addressing birth announcement envelopes
- Bathe Charlie
- Write blog entry

I used to have much more extensive lists towards the end of my pregnancy when I was home all day but without a baby to take care of. Of course I never finished everything on my daily lists then, and the same goes for now, even though my lists are much shorter. Sometimes I even add things like “Eat lunch” or “Get dressed” so that I can feel accomplished when I cross them off as complete.

To be honest with you, though, a lot of times that second one doesn’t happen these days. It’s just Charlie and me here all day and we don’t usually have anywhere to go and most days it’s been too hot for me to even want to take a walk outside. And pajamas are just so darn comfortable and easy to nurse in…

Do you want to know how many of the things on my list I have gotten finished so far, as it nears the end of the day? Five, including writing this entry. I never got around to addressing those envelopes, taking out the recycling, or doing any laundry at all. But the sink is empty, my baby is clean, and soon enough my weekly blog entry will be sent off to be posted.

If only I could let that sigh of relief last a little longer. But there are a million things that need to be done that didn’t even make it onto my list.
Did Jesus really mean it when he said, “Be perfect, just as your heavenly father is perfect” (Mt 5:48). I’m only the perfect mother, the perfect homemaker, and the perfect wife in my dreams.

Do I give Charlie enough tummy time to ensure his proper development? Am I letting him sit in the baby swing for too long, even if it is the only way he’ll nap for longer than a half an hour? Should I not be reading a book while I’m eating lunch since there is a dryer full of laundry to be folded? Should I wake up before Charlie does to take a shower and get dressed while Daniel is still home, regardless of how tired I am? And I know I should be praying in the wee hours of the morning when I wake up to feed Charlie and change his diaper rather than ever allowing myself to feel bitter towards the man still sleeping peacefully next to me who needs to wake up early and go to work all day.

Obviously, not all of these things fit into what Jesus meant when he used the word “perfect” (the last one is the only one that does I think). I will never be perfect, in that my house will never be spotless and I will never manage to feel perfectly well rested while having the time to exercise regularly; take care of our family finances; shower, dress, and fix my hair beautifully every day; make dinner; and keep up with the amazing amounts of dirty laundry produced my little family of three.

I feel like I’m playing that game called “Perfection”, trying so hard to fit all of the little shapes into the right holes before the timer runs out and the board pop up. I can’t imagine what it will be like when we have more than one child—I know that a lot of you are already at that point and probably have figured out how to juggle everything, and more, way better than I do right now.

What Jesus meant is that we should all be striving for perfection in the spiritual sense. No matter how many times I fail, I should always be trying my very best to love and care for my family as God would have me love and care for them. I should always be striving to center my life in living for Him. This is the kind of perfection Jesus was talking about: we are commanded to be perfect in love. When we are imperfect, that’s what the sacraments are for. Thank the Lord for that!

And as for the other imperfections I mentioned, I can try as hard as I want to and things will continue to get easier for now as Charlie gets older, but at the end of every day I’ll just have to come to terms with the fact that nobody’s perfect. Especially not me!

Rejoining the World

Charlie had his first babysitter on Sunday. Well, almost. Last month when our hot water heater was broken and we were staying at my parents’ house because of the mold, we left him with my sister Jane for a half an hour while we went home to pack up what we would need and bring it back. And that same week sister Rose watched him for an hour while I took Jane to a cross country clinic thing. But on Sunday Daniel and I had several errands to run in Frederick, and we figured it would be much faster if we went together and much easier if we didn’t take him with us, so we dropped him off for my mom to babysit him.

We were gone for two and a half hours in between Charlie’s feedings, and apparently he did really well! I missed him like crazy by the time two hours had gone by, though; I’ve never been apart from him for that long. But it was nice for Daniel and me to spend some time out of the house alone, even if it was just shopping.

The day before that, Saturday, Daniel and I both had wedding-related events to attend. Daniel went to Baltimore for lunch and a baseball game for a friend’s bachelor party. The same afternoon, Charlie and I went to a bridal shower that was about an hour’s drive from home. My friend Caroline rode with me so that she could sit in the backseat with Charlie because I was too nervous to have him back there alone for such a long drive. It’s a good thing she did, too, because at some point during both trips he needed to be comforted. Caroline was a great sport about offering her pinky for him to suck on, which worked like a charm to put him to sleep! Charlie was for the most part very well behaved during the shower, and it was a lot of fun to be able to spend some time with my college friends.

This fall will be full of events Charlie will get to be a part of, including his own baptism, three weddings, and a family reunion. I’m currently in the market for a good, comfortable, and easy-to-use baby carrier to make it less difficult to have Charlie out and about (in fact, I have another window open right now with several tabs devoted to different carrier brands and reviews). I have a hand-me-down carrier right now that really hurts my back when I have him in it for more than a few minutes, and he’s only getting bigger! Hence the search. Any suggestions?

Time Marches On

It’s official: Two skinny people can have a very large baby. Charlie had his two month check-up this week; he measured in at 24 inches long and 16 pounds 3 ounces, which means that he has gained seven pounds and one ounce in exactly nine weeks. He is exclusively breastfed and usually only nurses on one side at a time for less than 15 minutes...obviously he is just a very efficient eater!

We are always being told by friends and strangers alike how much Charlie looks like his daddy. Daniel, however, was a small baby. He gets the chubbiness from me, although I wasn’t quite as big as he is at two months.

The doctor said his size is nothing to be too concerned about at this point, though, and overall Charlie looks “super”! This is great news of course, even though I didn’t have any concerns to begin with. I can’t believe that my baby is already two months old!

To update, Daniel is really enjoying his new job. I am also still really enjoying mine—being a stay-at-home mom has some great perks, even though I do have to make my own coffee every morning and drink it at home rather than walk down the hallway for a coffee break with one of my very best friends like I did at my old job.

With this new job, I get to watch Charlie’s developing interest in figuring out how to bring his fist to his mouth and keep it there. And I don’t miss a single one of his spectacular smiles (see photo of the most adorable kid ever—of course I am a little biased). Those smiles get me through the occasional moments of boredom or stress and make it so that it really doesn’t matter that I haven’t washed my hair in three days and can’t keep my house clean. One little boy very plainly thinks that I am the prettiest and most wonderful lady in the whole world. I can live with that.