Sweet Normalcy

When I left my parents’ home for my first semester of college six years ago, my sense of normalcy was suspended… for about six years. During college, being at home wasn’t the same as things being “back to normal”, and although being back at school again after a break was a little closer to “back to normal”, it wasn’t quite there either.

Then after graduation Daniel and I bought our own home, but I lived here with Caroline, and we planned our wedding, spent a lot of time as crazy commuters, got married, went on a honeymoon, came home and settled into normal life together. Well, almost. Caroline moved out a few months later, God gave us a tiny baby to grow, we got ready to be parents, I dropped down to part-time work, then zero-time work, and Daniel completed his master’s degree. You’ve heard all of this before. My point is that we never quite had a “normal”, despite normal work weeks, etc. Then Charlie was born. We left the hospital and came home to settle into normal life together as three. At least, that was the goal.

It wasn’t until the festivities of last week, and then the end of them, that I realized I’m finally there—I have a “normal” to get back to now. My cousin Rose came to stay at our house Tuesday night, and her sister Theresa joined us here on Wednesday; they slept in our living room. Thursday was Thanksgiving, obviously, which we spent at Daniel’s parents’ house and then joined the party at my parents’ for dessert, and Friday was a family reunion also at my parents’ house. Over the course of those few days, Charlie missed out on a few good naps and we watched a couple of bedtimes come and go before we managed to get our little boy home at night.

Daniel was home for an extra long weekend which was wonderful, and we had a lot of fun spending time with family, but by the time Sunday night came around I was admittedly looking forward to the next morning. I would be spending the whole day with my Charlie, putting him down for naps in his own bed, reading him stories, going for a walk to get the mail, hanging out on the couch together while I eat my lunch, and just doing all of the stuff that we usually do. It was nice to get back to normal again!

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year... almost

With only one week until Thanksgiving, I am starting to get so excited about Charlie’s first holiday season! I am sure that this enthusiasm will be oft repeated throughout this next month, so be prepared.

Next week is going to be very eventful. My dear cousin Rose is coming from Ohio on Tuesday night to stay at our house, a day ahead of her family who will be staying at my parents’ for Thanksgiving weekend, as is tradition. Rose will be meeting Charlie for the first time and I am so excited to spend all day with her on Wednesday. Daniel, Charlie, and I will be joining Daniel’s family for Thanksgiving dinner, which will be the first time having Thanksgiving dinner somewhere other than with my own parents and siblings.

I’m looking forward to it, although from what I understand they put marshmallows on their sweet potato casserole. I imagine some of you readers do this also, but it just sounds weird to me. The topping to which I am accustomed is a delicious crusty and crumbly combination of brown and white sugars, butter, and chopped walnuts. My mouth is watering just thinking about it! So, I don’t know about sweet potatoes with marshmallows. We shall see.

And obviously, this will be Charlie’s first Thanksgiving, which is special even though he isn’t eating solid foods yet. Next year, he’ll really be able to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner!

On Friday, we are going to a family reunion for my mom’s side of the family being held at my parents’ house. I fully expect it to be crowded and loud, but fun! My grandparents have eleven children, all of whom will be there as far as I know, plus their spouses. Then there are the 29 grandchildren, some of whom will be bringing significant others. I only know of one of my cousins not being able to make it for sure. And then there is Charlie, the only great-grandchild so far. I hope he isn’t overwhelmed by so many people!

Then comes the first Sunday of Advent, a season which I love! I’ve even already gotten all of my Christmas shopping done (well, all except for one thing), so I can hopefully prepare for Christmas fairly peacefully this year. Ahhh, Christmas… my favorite time of year. I really can’t wait to watch Charlie’s eyes widen at the sight of a twinkling, decorated tree in our house; and to help him learn to rip the wrapping paper off of his presents! He will be too little to understand what any of it is all about or to remember it later, but I know that Daniel and I will remember this Christmas.

No “I” in “Team”

“I love being parents with you,” I whispered as I snuggled up next to Daniel in bed and laid my head on his right shoulder. Daniel laughed. With his left hand he was rocking the cradle beside our bed in a desperate attempt to get our son to go back to sleep. It was 5:30 on Thursday morning, and we had spent the last half hour changing a messy diaper and then being peed on twice. Of course, Charlie also managed to get himself in the face, as well as give our bed sheets a nice shower, all while screaming his head off. (To answer your question, no, we have not learned our lesson about changing diapers on our bed.) And this was after he had already woken up at 1:15 and 4:00, refusing to go back to sleep until I nursed him, so I was exhausted. It was a flashback to the early mornings of those first few weeks back in June and July.

Perhaps we should learn our lesson about keeping Charlie out past his bedtime, which we did because the quick Kohl’s trip we made wasn’t exactly as quick as we thought it would be. Charlie fell asleep in the car on the way home, only to wake up not feeling tired anymore. So although I finally got him to bed at 8:00, an hour past his normal bedtime, he stayed awake talking to the ceiling fan and playing with his fingers for another 45 minutes. I guess that was what ruined his night’s sleep… and his mother’s. If only I could have been ready for bed at 9:00 myself, then I might have gotten four straight hours that night.

Speaking of Charlie’s bedtime, until a few weeks ago it had never crossed my mind that babies might not care about daylight savings’ time. Charlie had been ready for bed by 7:00 every night, so when we “fell back” last Sunday, he was ready for bed by 6:00. Over the course of this week I have been pushing him towards 7:00, which he has actually adjusted to very well. He can stay awake until 7:00 again now, but I still haven’t managed to convince him to sleep until 7:00. He’s wide awake and ready to go by 6:00.

Anyways, the point of this entry is that my husband is wonderful. That morning he switched sides of the bed with me so that he could rock Charlie’s cradle and I could go back to sleep. This didn’t end up working out and we ultimately caved and brought Charlie into bed with us for a blessed extra half hour of shut-eye, but he tried. We make a good team. After such a rough night, it’s just a little hard to remember while I whimper/whine, “Honey, can you please take care of him? I’m so tired,” that there’s no “I” in “team”. Oh well. Like I said, my husband is wonderful. And I love him.

Thy will be done

Although this wasn’t the first time, Daniel and I talked more seriously this week about what we want for Charlie if something were to happen to the two of us. Imagining a circumstance where Charlie would need to be raised by someone else is painful, of course, and choosing a guardian for him in such a circumstance is proving to be difficult as well. There are so many things to take into consideration, primarily these four:

1) Who would be best able to love Charlie as much (almost) as Daniel and I do?

2) Who would be in the best position to take on the sudden responsibility of raising a young child?

3) Who would be willing to take on this responsibility?

And 4) Who would be best able to raise our son so as to fulfill everything that we want for him, as detailed in my August 13 post? Who would be able to help Charlie become a “happy saint”?

Daniel and I have not come to any 100% definitive answers to these questions, but we really can’t keep putting it off. It’s funny, I think, that the legal document we need to sit down with a lawyer and create, is called a “will”. It is not my will that anything should prevent Daniel and me from raising Charlie ourselves. It is my will that both Daniel and I will live to old age together, raising Charlie and his future siblings, fighting with them as teenagers, seeing them find their vocations, and playing with our grandchildren and maybe even great-grandchildren.

Really, a legal “will” is a Plan B. And that’s what we need to figure out. If what we will is not what will be, what do we will then? I must admit that I’m having fun with all these “wills”! Ready for another? Because here’s the kicker: none of this is really about my will. At least, it shouldn’t be. Repeat: it’s not about my will.

So, yesterday I dedicated a Rosary, which includes several prayers of “Thy will be done,” to asking for help in making the right decisions regarding who should care for Charlie in the event that we are not able. I’m asking that the One whose will it all actually is about will show us His will. He’s the one who knows what the future is, anyway, and He’s already planned for it. We just need to be guided in the right direction. And quickly. After all, we don’t know what might happen tomorrow, or even this afternoon.

Dear Lord, you know what it is that I want for my family. Still, “Thy will be done.” (But please let your will include a long life for all members of my family. Amen.)

A Different Kind of October

In trying to think of something to write about this week, I was looking back to my blog entries from this time last year and realizing how different my day-to-day life is from then. From the last week of October 2009 specifically. I wrote that I was feeling like Bilbo Baggins when he told Frodo that he felt “like a pat of butter spread over too much bread.” I am busy right now, although in a very different way than I was at this time last year, and I remember the feeling that I was describing very well. On top of it all, I was pregnant and not yet telling anyone. I am so glad that I’m not that pat of butter anymore!

Charlie’s learning so many new things lately. On Sunday he figured out how to stick his tongue out and apparently finds it really fun, because he keeps doing it. It’s so cute!

He also rolled over for the first time yesterday, and I didn’t even see it! I had just put him down on the floor with some toys and then turned to sit at the computer. When I turned around thirty seconds later, he had rolled from his tummy to his back. I can’t believe how fast he is growing! Soon he’ll be moving around our home on his own, and I’m beginning to worry about the state of our house as far as baby safety goes, as well as the cleanliness of our floors… let’s just say that the vacuum scares Charlie while he’s awake, and I obviously don’t want to wake him when he’s taking a nap. And this whole postpartum hair loss thing that’s making me shed all over the place isn’t helping matters either. In other words, the carpets are not at their best! At least the broom is quiet so that I’ve been able to keep the hard floors crumb and dust-free. For the most part, anyway.

Also this week, I took Charlie to his four month checkup. He had to get two more shots, and as much as I have always hated getting shots, it is even worse to watch my son get them. His appointment was on Tuesday, and I was so nervous about it all weekend. I hate seeing my baby in pain. At least the pain never lasts longer than a few minutes with shots, and Charlie calmed down much faster than he did at his two month appointment. I just can’t wait until he’s older so that I can buy him a milkshake on the way home.

My little family attended yet another wedding last weekend, this one for a friend from college, in the same chapel that Daniel and I had our wedding last year. As far as I know, we shouldn’t have any more weddings to attend for a while, which is a good thing. As much as I love weddings, five weddings in one year is plenty.

We have no big plans for this weekend, thank goodness. Our house is an absolute wreck, so I’m hoping to spend a good chunk of time cleaning and getting some of the stuff on my super-long to-do list done. You know me and to-do lists, though! We’ll see…