Friday, April 16, 2010


Is it just me, or has “comfortable” has gotten a bad rap these days? I happen to be a big fan of teen country singing sensation Taylor Swift, but in the song “The Way I Loved You” on her most recent CD, the fact that she uses “comfortable” as a bad thing bugs me, even if it is one of my favorite songs on the CD to sing along with. Okay, maybe she doesn’t use it as a bad thing, but she at least uses it as a “not good enough” thing. She may be “comfortable” with this new guy that she is dating, but what she really wants is what she doesn’t have anymore; she misses being “so in love that you act insane.”

I don’t know about you, but I think being comfortable is pretty awesome—and I’d rather not be in the kind of love in which screaming and fighting and cursing is somehow a good thing. I won’t blame Taylor for missing kissing in the rain, though. That’s pretty fun… I wonder, though, whether she was under an umbrella. I like the umbrella variety myself, but either way makes for an awfully romantic picture. That’s why so many movies end with a scene like that.

Anyways, comfortable is changing out of high heels and pantyhose and into pajama pants and slippers at the end of a long day, or even better, having someone rub your feet before the slippers go on. Comfortable is sipping a cool drink while lounging on the beach with a gentle breeze blowing salty air in your face. Comfortable is enjoying a family dinner when everyone happens to be in a good mood and your mom happened to cook your favorite childhood meal, or falling asleep to the sound of steady rain on the roof, or waking up to the sunshine on a Saturday morning, feeling perfectly well-rested and knowing that you don’t really have to get up anytime soon unless you want to.

Roller coasters may be a lot of fun, but there is a reason that at the end of a day spent running around an amusement park you are exhausted. And when you finally make it home and see your bed waiting for you, whether made or unmade, it looks pretty darn close to heaven on earth. Taylor Swift calls the way she loved whoever it was a “roller coaster kind of rush.” I’ve always loved roller coasters, but I think that we all can only take so much. Maybe that’s why Taylor’s relationship ended in the first place.

I am proud to say that my relationship with Daniel is comfortable. We fight sometimes, but we don’t scream at each other. We may feel frustrated or hurt, but we don’t ever feel afraid that the other might leave. I know that even when I’m looking the exact opposite of my best, Daniel will still love me and think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world. I know that I can tell him anything and everything I’m thinking and he will listen and understand me. I may not feel the “butterflies” of a crush or a new relationship, but as far as I’m concerned that’s a good thing. Daniel can still send chills down my spine, and there are times when I feel so much love for him that it makes me want to cry. If my heart pounds, it’s not because of nerves.

Comfortable is taking a walk and holding hands with the one you love and not having to worry about sweaty palms… unless of course it’s just that ridiculously hot outside. To use Taylor’s words again, “he’s charming and endearing and I’m comfortable.” And I love it.


Erin said...

I love comfortable and I'm so happy to have it in my marriage! I can't blame a teenager for wanting a different kind of love for now and I do enjoy that song!

Anonymous said...

Sarah, perhaps there are different kinds of comfortable. There is the comfortable that you wrote about, but there is another kind too. Currently I would describe myself as comfortable or content, but I am not truly happy. I don't mean for that to sound depressing, but I'm just at a different point in my life than you are. I'm still trying to figure out who I am and what I want to do. I'm not yet to the point where I have a baseline of happiness, I'm currently just comfortable. I'm still trying to find something, though I'm not sure what that is. Also, I love Taylor's music too, but that song has a different meaning for me. I was in a relationship with a great man; however, despite the fact that he had many great qualities, including ones that Taylor mentions, I only felt "perfectly fine." The type of love that you have for Daniel was not there. So personally, I know exactly how Taylor feels; sometimes comfortable isn't good enough. On the other hand, I am very happy for you and very glad that your comfortable is a good thing. I hope that I can be so blessed someday!

Samantha Sombrey said...

Sarah, I loved your point of view! It is so true! I have been in a relationship for a couple years and will be getting married this summer. Sometimes I look back on those first dates and the butterflies and excitement of a crush, and for a moment, I miss it. But then I think about what we have now, and it doesn't even begin to compare--it is so much better now! There is no reason why you can't have a deeply romantic relationship full of love and adventure, while at the same time being 100% comfortable!

It's the best of both worlds!

Kat said...

I must agree that comfortable is much better than crazy "new" love. I like the fact that my husband and I are comfortable to be ourselves and we love each other more because of that. I also think that comfortable should not turn into complacent because we should always push ourselves to love beyond our own comfortable boundaries.